Last week my husband of 20 years came home and told me that he is unhappy in our relationship and wants a separation. He said that he loves me, and I got the "its me, not you" speech. He did say that he wants to get counseling for himself first, then if his counselor recommends it marriage counseling. So maybe there is hope for us but he's been so mean and nasty that maybe he's just saying that to soften his blow. He said he thinks I'm a great wife that he has been a bad husband. He said that he's not cheating on me but I feel as if maybe he is having an emotional affair with someone at work. I can't confirm but he was unfaithful a long time ago and his behavior leading up to this announcement is exactly the same which is what is making me suspicious.
I love this man so very much and have so many different feelings going through me right now. I'm angry that he didn't say something sooner so that we could have been working on being unhappy before it got to this point of leaving. I'm sad thinking that we may not make it through this and even more upset that we are not be moving forward with our plans of having children together-I've always wanted to have a baby with him and now regret waiting. I'm afraid...we've been together since high school so I've never been on my own and the thought of coming home tomorrow night to an empty house is terrifying to me.
I just have this feeling that once he leaves that its totally over. Maybe that is the feeling that everyone gets when their spouse tells them that they are leaving. I don't know this is just all so new to me. He's going to be getting an apartment and leaving me with the house. I just feel like he'll be saying "well we tried" and then he'll just give up on us and move along.
He is packing his stuff up and leaving tomorrow so I'm just dreading tomorrow and this coming week. I'm going to try to be strong and not cry and just let what happens, happens. Easier said than done.
How did you make it through the first few days (most important!)/weeks/months of your separation? Should I get counseling too? How long did you wait for your spouse to decide if they want to get back together with you?
While I hope we get back together I also don't want to be fooling myself. So I'd like to treat tomorrow (after crying once he leaves) as the first day of my life without him. UGH, can you hear my heart breaking???!!!
Any advice that you are willing to give is much appreciated.
I love this man so very much and have so many different feelings going through me right now. I'm angry that he didn't say something sooner so that we could have been working on being unhappy before it got to this point of leaving. I'm sad thinking that we may not make it through this and even more upset that we are not be moving forward with our plans of having children together-I've always wanted to have a baby with him and now regret waiting. I'm afraid...we've been together since high school so I've never been on my own and the thought of coming home tomorrow night to an empty house is terrifying to me.
I just have this feeling that once he leaves that its totally over. Maybe that is the feeling that everyone gets when their spouse tells them that they are leaving. I don't know this is just all so new to me. He's going to be getting an apartment and leaving me with the house. I just feel like he'll be saying "well we tried" and then he'll just give up on us and move along.
He is packing his stuff up and leaving tomorrow so I'm just dreading tomorrow and this coming week. I'm going to try to be strong and not cry and just let what happens, happens. Easier said than done.
How did you make it through the first few days (most important!)/weeks/months of your separation? Should I get counseling too? How long did you wait for your spouse to decide if they want to get back together with you?
While I hope we get back together I also don't want to be fooling myself. So I'd like to treat tomorrow (after crying once he leaves) as the first day of my life without him. UGH, can you hear my heart breaking???!!!
Any advice that you are willing to give is much appreciated.
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