I've been thinking a lot lately about how I feel about sex. I'm not a virgin, and have had two partners, one of whom I was only with once (had a crush on him through senior year, lost it to him a couple weeks after graduation and that was that) and then my long distance (and very 1st!) bf whom I started seeing a few months after guy one (we had sex maybe 6ish times, it wasn't super enjoyable for me).
I definitely feel I haven't really "come into" my sexuality. Not that I'm questioning it, but part of me feels like I was never ready to have sex, and I've never had the opportunity to work up to it in a relationship as I kind of what-the-heck did it with my ex when we first got together.
I don't know when I'll next date since I'll hopefully be transferring to a new school, and so I'm sort of biding my time until then. But I worry it'll be hard to find a guy who's understanding to my situation, me not being a virgin but still not feeling confident and feeling inexperienced. A couple months ago I was somewhat taken advantage of by someone, it was partially me not being assertive enough but also him being a drunken a**. That kind of hardened me and maybe even is making me a little fearful of being intimate again.
And then I have additional insecurities about whether I will even enjoy sex as I didn't really with my ex ( my 1st time was actually pretty good) but I wonder if it's a chemistry thing and what if I met a guy who I liked but the chemistry sexually wasn't there? I could go into detail but it's a bit explicit for this forum....
And advice welcome, thanks :)
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