I need to vent. I have nowhere and no one to talk about this. So I found this page just to vent.
I have been married for 17 years. I have 4 children. My wife has been out of work for most of this year. She seems to have little motivation. In all reality she has the college education and should be able to make more money than I. 4 years ago we had a brief separation after her mom died. She had looked me in the eyes and told me she had not loved me in years. We have since went to counseling and got back together. She swears she didn't really mean it. She said many things during that time that still sting to this day.
About two years ago she started running marathons. I have always been supportive. I cant run myself, I have a bad hip. She did inspire me to start bike riding and get off my butt at least. I try to stay in shape.
However she is taking it all to the next level. All she talks about, all she talks to, every aspect of her life now seems to revolve around running. She is very motivated. It seems all I have time to do is work. Im pushing 60 hours a week. We are still not getting caught up. I am living week to week. The stress is killing me. She gets mad at me for stressing saying it will not change anything. I really wish she would stress a little for me and help more but her excuses on why she isn't working is growing larger and larger.
I started to feel slighted. As if my family is not her main priority anymore. She seems more interested in beating her last race time than my own health. I never knew how bad stress could be to your health until this year. I get chest pains, I am filled with anxiety and I feel bipolar. She blames me saying I dwell on what we don't have too much. Thing is I am not dwelling on toys, I am dwelling on bills and feeding my children. We have nasty text conversations about this at least 3 days a week. Its to the point I cant even talk about being stressed because she gets mad.
Last week I went down her Facebook. I notice almost all her post for the last several months are all about running. I see other wifes with husbands who work as hard as me, they seem to appreciate it. The love their husbands and let the word know. They post pictures and nice comments. I don't get that, she post about running, talks to her running friends, sometimes she brags about the kids but I am barely mentioned. If you looked at her wall you can think she is already divorced.
I tried to talk to her about how I feel last week and she got angry. Anytime I voice how I feel it seems we end in a fight. She denies this.
This weekend she did something out of character. We had a holiday party. She stood up in front of everyone and sang me a song. She said she wanted to show me in front of everyone how she felt. I still have my doubts. I still keep hearing the words she spoke to me 4 years ago and she seems to love running more. She is around guys with ripped muscles and seem to have more in common with them. Its killing my self esteem, I feel like less of a man and I am thinking of making big changes soon.
I have been married for 17 years. I have 4 children. My wife has been out of work for most of this year. She seems to have little motivation. In all reality she has the college education and should be able to make more money than I. 4 years ago we had a brief separation after her mom died. She had looked me in the eyes and told me she had not loved me in years. We have since went to counseling and got back together. She swears she didn't really mean it. She said many things during that time that still sting to this day.
About two years ago she started running marathons. I have always been supportive. I cant run myself, I have a bad hip. She did inspire me to start bike riding and get off my butt at least. I try to stay in shape.
However she is taking it all to the next level. All she talks about, all she talks to, every aspect of her life now seems to revolve around running. She is very motivated. It seems all I have time to do is work. Im pushing 60 hours a week. We are still not getting caught up. I am living week to week. The stress is killing me. She gets mad at me for stressing saying it will not change anything. I really wish she would stress a little for me and help more but her excuses on why she isn't working is growing larger and larger.
I started to feel slighted. As if my family is not her main priority anymore. She seems more interested in beating her last race time than my own health. I never knew how bad stress could be to your health until this year. I get chest pains, I am filled with anxiety and I feel bipolar. She blames me saying I dwell on what we don't have too much. Thing is I am not dwelling on toys, I am dwelling on bills and feeding my children. We have nasty text conversations about this at least 3 days a week. Its to the point I cant even talk about being stressed because she gets mad.
Last week I went down her Facebook. I notice almost all her post for the last several months are all about running. I see other wifes with husbands who work as hard as me, they seem to appreciate it. The love their husbands and let the word know. They post pictures and nice comments. I don't get that, she post about running, talks to her running friends, sometimes she brags about the kids but I am barely mentioned. If you looked at her wall you can think she is already divorced.
I tried to talk to her about how I feel last week and she got angry. Anytime I voice how I feel it seems we end in a fight. She denies this.
This weekend she did something out of character. We had a holiday party. She stood up in front of everyone and sang me a song. She said she wanted to show me in front of everyone how she felt. I still have my doubts. I still keep hearing the words she spoke to me 4 years ago and she seems to love running more. She is around guys with ripped muscles and seem to have more in common with them. Its killing my self esteem, I feel like less of a man and I am thinking of making big changes soon.
Put the internet to work for you.
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