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Hurting

I've been with my husband since I was 16, he was 15. 19 yrs together and 11 married. We have had a really rough year with lots of fighting. I feel that he is having an EA with fellow co-worker he says no. But I have looked at some of the things that they have sent to each other. And I don't believe him. Well finally 3 weeks ago I couldn't handle the fighting and him just being nasty anymore, so I told him to go to his parents for 2 weeks. He left. Of course I regretted that as soon as I said it. He came by to see our 5 yr son. Told me that he loves me but not in love with me. He does not want to go to thearpy said we are broken. Says that he has faked being in love with me for years. Blames me for all of our sons development issues. I smoked while pregnant. I deeply regret that. Our son is doing great now anyway. He told me tonight that he made his decision he is filing for divorce but he wants to wait until after Christmas. Any advice?

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