I've been married almost 9 years now. One son...7 yrs old in one week. My relationship with my wife seems to be going down hill. Ever since the birth of my son. I forgot how some women can become after birth. The nurse had warned us but I completely forgot. So when my wife started being difficult, it got to the point where I'd yell back at her. My patience was very thin during that time. And I know now, I should have been more understanding and supportive. She never fails to bring this up whenever we have an argument.
And the other thing she brings up almost as frequently is divorce. I look at divorce as failure. And I don't want to fail. So I've given up just about every argument. But more and more, when she brings up divorce, I feel myself drifting more in that direction. But then I look at my son, who I love more than anything, and I just can't imagine being away from him.
But lately, I feel she's turning him away from me. My wife is from another country. And she and my son don't speak English together. And I feel like they are teaming up against me. Everything is my fault.
She's always complaining that I'm moody. And that I have an explosive temper. Over the years, I've really worked on calming down. But it can still happen when they push me too far. I have a few triggers that they love to push.
One is this stupid thing they do of jamming their fingers in my ass. She says it's a family joke and she's taught it to my son. I really hate it. And when my son does it, I'll give him a funny surprised look for the first one. And I tell him to stop. But he doesn't. I warn him "that's enough...I really don't like that. Stop.". And if he continues, I raise my voice and tell him to "STOP!". I feel that's a normal reaction. Please tell me if that's not.
Because...and this is another trigger...my wife will chime in...from another room. "Stop being hard on him. He's tired and sleepy." She's always on his side. Never takes into account how it got to the point where I have to raise my voice. She just knows that I'm being mean to my son. And my son will go to her and tell her I'm being mean.
This just boils my blood. She never takes in the whole picture of the situation. Always blames me on circumstantial evidence. She just hears my loud voice. So naturally, I'm the bad guy.
Oh, but she also always complains that I don't discipline him. So if I can't raise my voice, how am I to discipline him? I tell her she raises her voice too. But she says it's not from anger. Mine is from anger. WHAT?! I hear her scolding him. And it sounds plenty angry to me. She just says, "no, it's different.".
So here I am. Posting to a forum of strangers. Delaying my trip home. Delaying the moment when I will once again, say "I'm sorry" for something I'm not sorry about.
Even though I view divorce as failure, I find myself wondering more and more if we'd all be better off.
There's a lot more I can expand on. But it's my first post and I think it's long enough. Anyways, not really sure why I'm posting. Maybe it's just for me to have this down somewhere. Seeing it in front of me instead of just in my head all scattered.
Time to go home and receive another round of verbal lashing.
And the other thing she brings up almost as frequently is divorce. I look at divorce as failure. And I don't want to fail. So I've given up just about every argument. But more and more, when she brings up divorce, I feel myself drifting more in that direction. But then I look at my son, who I love more than anything, and I just can't imagine being away from him.
But lately, I feel she's turning him away from me. My wife is from another country. And she and my son don't speak English together. And I feel like they are teaming up against me. Everything is my fault.
She's always complaining that I'm moody. And that I have an explosive temper. Over the years, I've really worked on calming down. But it can still happen when they push me too far. I have a few triggers that they love to push.
One is this stupid thing they do of jamming their fingers in my ass. She says it's a family joke and she's taught it to my son. I really hate it. And when my son does it, I'll give him a funny surprised look for the first one. And I tell him to stop. But he doesn't. I warn him "that's enough...I really don't like that. Stop.". And if he continues, I raise my voice and tell him to "STOP!". I feel that's a normal reaction. Please tell me if that's not.
Because...and this is another trigger...my wife will chime in...from another room. "Stop being hard on him. He's tired and sleepy." She's always on his side. Never takes into account how it got to the point where I have to raise my voice. She just knows that I'm being mean to my son. And my son will go to her and tell her I'm being mean.
This just boils my blood. She never takes in the whole picture of the situation. Always blames me on circumstantial evidence. She just hears my loud voice. So naturally, I'm the bad guy.
Oh, but she also always complains that I don't discipline him. So if I can't raise my voice, how am I to discipline him? I tell her she raises her voice too. But she says it's not from anger. Mine is from anger. WHAT?! I hear her scolding him. And it sounds plenty angry to me. She just says, "no, it's different.".
So here I am. Posting to a forum of strangers. Delaying my trip home. Delaying the moment when I will once again, say "I'm sorry" for something I'm not sorry about.
Even though I view divorce as failure, I find myself wondering more and more if we'd all be better off.
There's a lot more I can expand on. But it's my first post and I think it's long enough. Anyways, not really sure why I'm posting. Maybe it's just for me to have this down somewhere. Seeing it in front of me instead of just in my head all scattered.
Time to go home and receive another round of verbal lashing.
Put the internet to work for you.
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