Hey guys,
I put LDR in the title as it is regarding a long distance issue, but we're not really a couple so to speak.
I met this guy online about 3 years ago. He's from New Zealand and I'm in the UK (pretty far I know). We hit it off, we talked pretty much most days, we used to Skype etc. We started to develop feelings for one another, and he was trying to take things further by saying we could work. I'm a very rational person, and although it hurt me and I liked him a lot, I keep rejecting it and saying we could never working out as we live way too far. He kept saying how when his studies were over (which will be next year) he will come visit me. So, after much convincing, and my genuine feelings for him, we kind of continued speaking as if we were very much smitten.
Anyway, as time moved on, we started to drift a little. I do know that his course is very intense and he had a ridiculous amount of studying to do. So, I was the bigger person and said I'd leave him be for however long just so he can focus on his studies. He still had me on Facebook, however we didn't converse as much. It was kind of naturally left whereby when he was free, he would get in touch with me, but he never did.
So, 2 years down the line, and we barely talk. He likes my pictures, and comments on my statuses, but nothing more than that. One night, I was on a downer. I decided to cut out a large chunk of my Facebook friends (for acquaintances I never really spoke to anymore etc), and I deleted him even though it hurt, and I never even said anything, I just deleted him.
Anyway, 2 months down the line, I got a message out of the blue on a separate website where we initially met, and he seemed really sad and perplexed as to why I deleted him. I explained myself, to which he was sorry as he was busy, but he also said that he felt I was a little indifferent towards him at times.
So, I added him on Facebook again (about a few months ago). Anyway, I'm not generally the jealous type, but I noticed that lately he has been commenting cute things on a girls status who lives in NZ (where he does). He never commented stuff like that on my statuses. He likes all of her pictures etc. I did feel a little sick bearing in mind that we hadn't had a sustained conversation in a very long time, but I thought our feelings would stand the test of time. This girl seems to represent everything he dislikes in a girl - the kind to use the word 'swag' and pouts in her pictures. He's a very serious person and he has a very unique character, which is why I'm so confused as to why he would go for someone like her, or at least show an interest. It was also my birthday yesterday and he never even wished me a happy birthday even with a reminder on Facebook.
Tonight I had enough. I sent him a Facebook message being diplomatic, but honest and to the point. When he messaged me on the other site not long ago he said he missed how we were 2 years ago, and thus suggesting he still cared. So I messaged him saying that his actions (or lack of them) are not of an individual who cares. His replies are very unenthusiastic. Although he is still trying to uphold that he does care. He also said that back in the day he was never sure if I had feelings for him, and I replied saying the amount of 'I miss you's' and '<3' we sent back and fourth was a good indicator. And he hasn't replied to that yet.
I just feel so sick because of the whole situation. Even after 2 years I still have feelings, because if I didn't I wouldn't be crying like a baby right now. I just want to kick myself because 2 years ago I was adamant that I didn't want to develop deeper feelings but HE convinced me we could work. And now I just feel so weak and stupid.
Any advice? Should I cut him out of my life completely?
Put the internet to work for you.
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