Hi this is my first time on this site.... I need some help. I can no longer ask my friends for advice about this.
A little background:
My wife and I have been together for a little over 4 years and we have been married now for a little over a year. She has a son with an ex that has custody of the child. She has no legal rights to the child because she never adopted the child. She went to court to file for visitation but lost. The only way she can she her son is if she goes to the ex's house once a week for 4 hours, she is not aloud to take the child anywhere and the ex must be with them. I am not allowed around the child. The last time I saw him was the day before we got engaged. During our engagement the ex took my wife's son away from her for 3 months. She had no contact with him. She wasn't allowed to she him until she promised the ex she would consider going back to her. So she she started to hang out with the ex and the son and was doing "family" things. I was devastated when I found out. She said she loved me and was only doing it to see him. In the past when we were dating my wife has lef t me several times to go back to her ex, has written things and has done things with her ex that make me feel she is unfaithful and the excuse is always " I do it for my son".
Fast forward:
We have been having major issues, we have had several unsuccessful attempts at getting pregnant, we been fighting about her ex, and have had 3 major arguments that nearly ended our marriage. The ex texts her things that I feel are inappropriate. Like personal sayings, pictures, love you, miss you etc... When I confronted my wife about the texts her first reaction is "why are you going in my phone" then it's "I can't control what she writes" and "i didn't respond because you asked me not too"
I feel she does not respect our marriage or even defend it. She allows her ex to call me names. I have heard the ex say things like "oh she must be there because you treat me differently on the phone then when you are with me at the house". She calls when ever she wants and my wife gets up and takes the call in another room or goes outside. The ex has several times told my wife to divorce me and go back to her.
We went to therapy before we got married and the therapist even said that boundaries have to be set and that conversations with the ex should be strictly about the child.
I don't know what to do anymore, I am so depressed and I feel like I am falling apart.
I don't know if she is really faithful or what she does or says when she is with her ex.
I don't know if I believe the words my wife says.
Can anyone offer any advice?
A little background:
My wife and I have been together for a little over 4 years and we have been married now for a little over a year. She has a son with an ex that has custody of the child. She has no legal rights to the child because she never adopted the child. She went to court to file for visitation but lost. The only way she can she her son is if she goes to the ex's house once a week for 4 hours, she is not aloud to take the child anywhere and the ex must be with them. I am not allowed around the child. The last time I saw him was the day before we got engaged. During our engagement the ex took my wife's son away from her for 3 months. She had no contact with him. She wasn't allowed to she him until she promised the ex she would consider going back to her. So she she started to hang out with the ex and the son and was doing "family" things. I was devastated when I found out. She said she loved me and was only doing it to see him. In the past when we were dating my wife has lef t me several times to go back to her ex, has written things and has done things with her ex that make me feel she is unfaithful and the excuse is always " I do it for my son".
Fast forward:
We have been having major issues, we have had several unsuccessful attempts at getting pregnant, we been fighting about her ex, and have had 3 major arguments that nearly ended our marriage. The ex texts her things that I feel are inappropriate. Like personal sayings, pictures, love you, miss you etc... When I confronted my wife about the texts her first reaction is "why are you going in my phone" then it's "I can't control what she writes" and "i didn't respond because you asked me not too"
I feel she does not respect our marriage or even defend it. She allows her ex to call me names. I have heard the ex say things like "oh she must be there because you treat me differently on the phone then when you are with me at the house". She calls when ever she wants and my wife gets up and takes the call in another room or goes outside. The ex has several times told my wife to divorce me and go back to her.
We went to therapy before we got married and the therapist even said that boundaries have to be set and that conversations with the ex should be strictly about the child.
I don't know what to do anymore, I am so depressed and I feel like I am falling apart.
I don't know if she is really faithful or what she does or says when she is with her ex.
I don't know if I believe the words my wife says.
Can anyone offer any advice?
Put the internet to work for you.
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