Hi All.
I am in a situation that has developed over time with my wife. I now know, following counceling sessions, that my worries about rejection and subsequent episodes of ED are born from being rejected many times in the past by my wife. Not pointing any blame here, I am sure I have my part to play..
we did make some good progress together on the whole issue of sex, we read the books together like " his needs her needs" , "she comes first" etc. and seemed to light us both up.
sex twice a week, I am happy with that, adventurous, fun and mutual pleasure.
Things have now slipped back to maybe once a month or so, and that is mostly a mercy hand job done as quick as poss. if I didn't initiate that wouldn't happen either.
I do try to make it about her needs first but she brushes that aside.
Problem now is I am reluctant to initiate because it makes me feel crap about myself, doesn't seem to be any pleasure in it for her, and I can,t handle much more rejection, it is so destructive in many ways. I am getting to the point where I am now trying to tune myself out as a matter of sel preservation.
At my last council session I said I wish I could switch of my sexual urge so as not appear selfish and demanding. The councilersaid it was the saddest thing she had heard.
I can feel feel resentment creeping in from both of us and it ain't good. It seems my wife is avoiding doing any of the things I like. I am big on the visual but all the lingerie has been thrown in a draw somewhere never to be seen again. I love my wife to come to bed in classy underwear, I have asked but it aint happening.
the other night we were out at a dance , danced together a lot, had a few drinks but not too much. Wife looked stunning, people I dont know made a point of telling me wife looked amazing. The desire to make love to my wife was top of my agenda for sure. When we got home she nipped upstairs, came back down in jogging bottoms and sweater:scratchhead: Oh no, you have taken the heals off, and the dress. Yeah, so what was the reply. Don't feel much like initiating anything other than a cup of tea after that:(
she knows i love the visual stimulus so why do that.
anyway, just needed to get all this down, it helps.
cheerio
I am in a situation that has developed over time with my wife. I now know, following counceling sessions, that my worries about rejection and subsequent episodes of ED are born from being rejected many times in the past by my wife. Not pointing any blame here, I am sure I have my part to play..
we did make some good progress together on the whole issue of sex, we read the books together like " his needs her needs" , "she comes first" etc. and seemed to light us both up.
sex twice a week, I am happy with that, adventurous, fun and mutual pleasure.
Things have now slipped back to maybe once a month or so, and that is mostly a mercy hand job done as quick as poss. if I didn't initiate that wouldn't happen either.
I do try to make it about her needs first but she brushes that aside.
Problem now is I am reluctant to initiate because it makes me feel crap about myself, doesn't seem to be any pleasure in it for her, and I can,t handle much more rejection, it is so destructive in many ways. I am getting to the point where I am now trying to tune myself out as a matter of sel preservation.
At my last council session I said I wish I could switch of my sexual urge so as not appear selfish and demanding. The councilersaid it was the saddest thing she had heard.
I can feel feel resentment creeping in from both of us and it ain't good. It seems my wife is avoiding doing any of the things I like. I am big on the visual but all the lingerie has been thrown in a draw somewhere never to be seen again. I love my wife to come to bed in classy underwear, I have asked but it aint happening.
the other night we were out at a dance , danced together a lot, had a few drinks but not too much. Wife looked stunning, people I dont know made a point of telling me wife looked amazing. The desire to make love to my wife was top of my agenda for sure. When we got home she nipped upstairs, came back down in jogging bottoms and sweater:scratchhead: Oh no, you have taken the heals off, and the dress. Yeah, so what was the reply. Don't feel much like initiating anything other than a cup of tea after that:(
she knows i love the visual stimulus so why do that.
anyway, just needed to get all this down, it helps.
cheerio
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