I've been with my husband for 10 years, 5 married. We were each other's everything. At first I thought the was great and kind of romantic. But now since things are going south in other parts of our lives, he wishes that he had dated.
I think it's understandable, especially for guys. But I never saw this coming. I mean, I wish that I'd dated too sometimes. But honestly, it's just not me to date around. I would have been happy to be in long term relationships, but not causal dating.
He wants female attention and for girls to look at him. But he never went out when he was younger and was very shy. So I don't understand why now when we're married? I'm not comparing him to myself, we're different. While I don't like getting hit on when I'm married, he would love it. I would love it for him because it would prove that he is worthy. Me saying it isn't enough.
But it just seems like it's out of the blue and since I don't feel the best about myself at the moment, and we aren't able to have sex and he isn't happy. It makes me wonder what's next? He wouldn't cheat, but the difference between now and a few years ago is that he probably thinks about it. He says things that he wouldn't have and he is acting like a teenage boy. :(
He isn't this way all the time, he gets in these moods. He has a very stressful job and things aren't great with work. We both work from home. He drinks a lot and this is usually when it starts if it's going to start. He is drinking more and more, he isn't violent or anything. But he does get sad and starts thinking about life and whatnot. I try to be comforting and listen, but what he says can be tough to hear. He knows this and pulls back when he catches himself doing it. But I just wish he would cut way down on the drinking. But he can't seem to do it/he doesn't want to. The second that he feels uncomfortable he gives up.
I don't know what to do! He is my best friend in the world, and I'm his. So I want him to be OK, I want him to be happy, and I can't make him happy, I'm not happy either. It's only been 5 years but it seems like the longest time in our lives! I know that it will pass once we get it together.
This is marriage and I know it will get better, but what do I do in the mean time? :(
I think it's understandable, especially for guys. But I never saw this coming. I mean, I wish that I'd dated too sometimes. But honestly, it's just not me to date around. I would have been happy to be in long term relationships, but not causal dating.
He wants female attention and for girls to look at him. But he never went out when he was younger and was very shy. So I don't understand why now when we're married? I'm not comparing him to myself, we're different. While I don't like getting hit on when I'm married, he would love it. I would love it for him because it would prove that he is worthy. Me saying it isn't enough.
But it just seems like it's out of the blue and since I don't feel the best about myself at the moment, and we aren't able to have sex and he isn't happy. It makes me wonder what's next? He wouldn't cheat, but the difference between now and a few years ago is that he probably thinks about it. He says things that he wouldn't have and he is acting like a teenage boy. :(
He isn't this way all the time, he gets in these moods. He has a very stressful job and things aren't great with work. We both work from home. He drinks a lot and this is usually when it starts if it's going to start. He is drinking more and more, he isn't violent or anything. But he does get sad and starts thinking about life and whatnot. I try to be comforting and listen, but what he says can be tough to hear. He knows this and pulls back when he catches himself doing it. But I just wish he would cut way down on the drinking. But he can't seem to do it/he doesn't want to. The second that he feels uncomfortable he gives up.
I don't know what to do! He is my best friend in the world, and I'm his. So I want him to be OK, I want him to be happy, and I can't make him happy, I'm not happy either. It's only been 5 years but it seems like the longest time in our lives! I know that it will pass once we get it together.
This is marriage and I know it will get better, but what do I do in the mean time? :(
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