I want to get your thoughts and opinion about an argument between me and my husband last night. Looks like it was quite a stressful day for him at work. On top of this I tried to spoil his mood on our way back home. This made him to sit in a really fowl mood last evening. We have a live - in nanny at home to care for our little one. Once we were done with the dinner, my husband boiled a kettle of water which he normally uses to fill my daughter's bottle and fill two bottles for us to drink over night. As always last night he filled the water for my daughter's bottle and went in to fetch our bottles from the room. Our nanny thought that the water will not be used and poured the remaining hot water in the kettle to the sink. This has happened once last week and is happening again yesterday.
On seeing the water poured off from the kettle, he started shouting at me, asking if he was a fool to leave the water in there without a purpose. He went on to shout in front of her saying I am a stupid and I am being foolish. He shouted at the top of his voice. I maintained my calm until he uttered three sentences. Then I told him in a very low voice not to shout. His temper increased and he shouted saying that he will pour the hot water in my face. I stopped right there, finished my chores for the night and walked into the bedroom. All these coversations happened in our mother tongue which means that the nanny only knows that my husband is shouting at me and not sure about the reason. To me, the above reason does not warrant a shouting saga. I would have refilled the kettle and reboiled it and told my nanny not to do this again. This is a simple and easy way to tackle the issue.
I sat down calm for a while (cried in the due course) and told him that what he did was not right. He again raised his voice saying that we (myself and my nanny) are being fools. We do not have common sense (common sense to know that the water is left in the kettle for a reason). He says its tough to live in the midst of foolish people. (I always agree that he is quite logical and expects that everyone who live with him should be logical too) I lost my cool then and started shouting and that followed by a big drama.
Now, here is my question. How do you ladies feel when your partner shouts at you in front of others? This is not the first time that has happened for me. He has shouted at me in front of my mother, MIL, car driver, in the shop sometimes raising his voice and sometimes using foul language. I feel humiliated and I go suicidal during such happenings. He says that the humiliation I face during such shouting dramas is no different than the humiliation he faces when we both fight and I shout at him within a closed door. He fails to understand that he is causing me permanent damage to my emotional strength making me feel little in front of everyone. (Please Note: I am termed as a confident person by my work colleagues and friends)
He is a short tempered guy. Any small things could tip him off. Me on the other hand is not a saint either. Sometimes I try to test his boundaries. Having said this, he is not bad. He does not do this to make me feel bad. He does this only when his temper is uncontrollable. I know he has issues with his temper which he fails to acknowledge. Even if he acknowledges, he does not want to work towards it. He says I am being too emotional and making it a big hue and cry for something as simple as he shouting at me in front of everyone.
I want to know if I am exaggerating something which is common in every family
On seeing the water poured off from the kettle, he started shouting at me, asking if he was a fool to leave the water in there without a purpose. He went on to shout in front of her saying I am a stupid and I am being foolish. He shouted at the top of his voice. I maintained my calm until he uttered three sentences. Then I told him in a very low voice not to shout. His temper increased and he shouted saying that he will pour the hot water in my face. I stopped right there, finished my chores for the night and walked into the bedroom. All these coversations happened in our mother tongue which means that the nanny only knows that my husband is shouting at me and not sure about the reason. To me, the above reason does not warrant a shouting saga. I would have refilled the kettle and reboiled it and told my nanny not to do this again. This is a simple and easy way to tackle the issue.
I sat down calm for a while (cried in the due course) and told him that what he did was not right. He again raised his voice saying that we (myself and my nanny) are being fools. We do not have common sense (common sense to know that the water is left in the kettle for a reason). He says its tough to live in the midst of foolish people. (I always agree that he is quite logical and expects that everyone who live with him should be logical too) I lost my cool then and started shouting and that followed by a big drama.
Now, here is my question. How do you ladies feel when your partner shouts at you in front of others? This is not the first time that has happened for me. He has shouted at me in front of my mother, MIL, car driver, in the shop sometimes raising his voice and sometimes using foul language. I feel humiliated and I go suicidal during such happenings. He says that the humiliation I face during such shouting dramas is no different than the humiliation he faces when we both fight and I shout at him within a closed door. He fails to understand that he is causing me permanent damage to my emotional strength making me feel little in front of everyone. (Please Note: I am termed as a confident person by my work colleagues and friends)
He is a short tempered guy. Any small things could tip him off. Me on the other hand is not a saint either. Sometimes I try to test his boundaries. Having said this, he is not bad. He does not do this to make me feel bad. He does this only when his temper is uncontrollable. I know he has issues with his temper which he fails to acknowledge. Even if he acknowledges, he does not want to work towards it. He says I am being too emotional and making it a big hue and cry for something as simple as he shouting at me in front of everyone.
I want to know if I am exaggerating something which is common in every family
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