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How do I move forward?

I found out about 2 weeks ago that my husband of 20 years had been smoking Meth for a month & a half. I was beyond shocked. We have an elementary age son & I couldn't believe my husband would bring something illegal & dangerous into our home. He'd last smoked Meth 15 yrs ago, but was addicted to pills for years before getting off them for good last summer (after losing a good job he'd had for 16 yrs). His lying has been a huge problem in our marriage. He said he'd become very depressed because he felt he was trying really hard on our marriage & he felt like I wasn't (my version is very different ), so he turned to meth. I tried repeatedly to get him to seek medical help for the way he was feeling, but he refused. He swears he didn't cheat on me. And he swears he'll never lie to me again. Am I an idiot to stick with him? I love him so much & That's why I feel so betrayed. I don't understand how you can lie so many times to someone you claim to love.

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