I have a friend who is dating a total idiot. When I first met them he seemed lovely, but after a few meetings I realised he really, really isn't. He has about a million entrepreneurial ideas, most of which are awful, and thinks for sure he is going to become famous. He just wants to be rich, and wants to be some kind of tycoon. He watched Wolf of Wall Street and said throughout how that was the life. He told his girlfriend that all he wants is to one day fire a man who needed the job to feed his family, to see him leave and laugh. He wants to con charities and basically steal and scam the poor for his own gain. I could post a million more of these kinds of examples, point is, he's a horrible person. Despite all the show, he's also high almost 24/7.
His girlfriend is a genuinely nice girl. She started to tell me about their relationship when we got a bit closer. She could sit down and speak for about two hours on the kinds of things he said, full on rants about him, like she totally hates him. But it's all really unbiased, it's funny how she says it, there's no opinion or emotion there, she just reels off all the repulsive things he says.
She told me they fight all the time, and this is physical violence as well as emotional and verbal. She regularly has bruises, they look awful. But she says she hits him right back too, but admits she's never really left a mark on him, whereas he has pushed her down stairs, thrown things at her... but it doesn't seem to bother her. Because despite all this, she can't see her life without him. It's not so much a case of a victim not being able to leave, she knows she can, and last term during a talk she agreed she would break up with him. But she doesn't have many friends and isn't great at making them so just can't call up the effort/confidence to do it.
In between the fighting she says they do really love each other, and he regularly compliments her and they do some very romantic things. I feel like he needs her - he's all talk and no walk, he's a scared and pathetic person with a middle-class upbringing and snobbishness, meanwhile she's very working-class, can be really silly but you can tell she has some real intelligence underneath badly applied foundation haha. She is completely shunned by his family... so him dating her is a bit rebellious. I feel like he treats her as a 'pet' in some ways.
They both know, I think, that after university it won't continue. But what would you do if you knew all this was going on? What are your thoughts? I try to help with whatever I can, I've offered her my room whenever she needs it if things get too intense or even dangerous. I just don't know what to do and I feel helpless.
Put the internet to work for you.
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