Hi Everyone,
I'm going to try and not bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say I cannot get past the regret of my divorce. The divorce was finalized over a year ago and we have been separated for over two years. I'm still young - turning 31 this year - which also brings up issues of being a failure, if I'll ever get married again, have children, etc.
While in the marriage, I couldn't think of anything "good" about my partner. He tended to being rather angry and didn't really trust people, but we had a nice home and didn't really fight. We didn't communicate all of that much and I felt ignored/taken for granted (don't most people at some point?) after 7 years of being together, but he really was a decent guy.
Instead of communicating to him that things felt stale, I instead invested in emotional relationships with other men - men who were AWFUL for me and knew all of the right things to say but of course would never actually be good guys. We got separated, I had sex with other men while separated. As you can imagine, my husband had enough. He stuck around and tried to give me the benefit of the doubt longer than most.
We tried counseling, but the counselor actually pushed me out the door more than helped the marriage. I was hanging out with a lot of single women at the time that made me "envy" the single life (and go figure - they are married now and nowhere in sight). Hindsight really is always 20/20.
At this point - I'm full of regrets. My "grass is greener" mentality is not the case. I've gone on a lot of 1st and 2nd dates, but I'm finding that a lot of these people don't have their stuff together in their mid-30s, or we just aren't compatible long-term. The "men" who were chasing me while married are long gone and honestly - good riddance (they really were not good people).
How do I move forward? I have so much anger towards myself and regret. I can't keep looking backwards and living this way - it's not really "living."
I'm going to try and not bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say I cannot get past the regret of my divorce. The divorce was finalized over a year ago and we have been separated for over two years. I'm still young - turning 31 this year - which also brings up issues of being a failure, if I'll ever get married again, have children, etc.
While in the marriage, I couldn't think of anything "good" about my partner. He tended to being rather angry and didn't really trust people, but we had a nice home and didn't really fight. We didn't communicate all of that much and I felt ignored/taken for granted (don't most people at some point?) after 7 years of being together, but he really was a decent guy.
Instead of communicating to him that things felt stale, I instead invested in emotional relationships with other men - men who were AWFUL for me and knew all of the right things to say but of course would never actually be good guys. We got separated, I had sex with other men while separated. As you can imagine, my husband had enough. He stuck around and tried to give me the benefit of the doubt longer than most.
We tried counseling, but the counselor actually pushed me out the door more than helped the marriage. I was hanging out with a lot of single women at the time that made me "envy" the single life (and go figure - they are married now and nowhere in sight). Hindsight really is always 20/20.
At this point - I'm full of regrets. My "grass is greener" mentality is not the case. I've gone on a lot of 1st and 2nd dates, but I'm finding that a lot of these people don't have their stuff together in their mid-30s, or we just aren't compatible long-term. The "men" who were chasing me while married are long gone and honestly - good riddance (they really were not good people).
How do I move forward? I have so much anger towards myself and regret. I can't keep looking backwards and living this way - it's not really "living."
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment