Hi everyone! I am 30 and i have been married for 5 years, together for 8. We have a 3 yo boy. I have some many issues in my marriage that i don't know how to start. We are fighting a lot. We fight about money, about our son, about almost everything. We are both working full-time, but money is never enough because he gambles. He doesn' t want to be told he needs to stop. He has loaned money from the bank, from his parents. I can't afford to buy clothes for myself. We are struggling from month to month.
He does not help around the house. I have to do it all. I even heat his every meal. I clean, i wash the dishes, i take out the garbage, i go to buy food. At the end of the day i cannot wait to go to sleep and finally get some rest.
He does not initiate intimacy. I have to the one who goes to him and ask him to make love to me. If 2 days have passed and i don't go to him he gets angry, pick up fights...He wants oral. It has become a habit for him to refuse sex in favour a bj.
He doesn not show me any sign of affection, zero.
When i try to discuss one of these issues with him he calls me names, spitts on me, pushes me. Once he left me with a swollen lip and some buises on my arm. That is the worse damage which he never considered abuse. He often tells me to get out of his house( actually it is his parents house). He has forced me to get out a couple of times together with our son. He used to call me back in tears. Now he doesn't bother telling me he is sorry. What hurts the most is that he isn't sorry. He acts as if he is doing me a favour by staying married to him. I am a bad wife, a bad mother, i do nothing wright..at least that is what he tells me almost every day. I suspected cheating, but i did not find any proof. He comes home from work, he never gets out because he doesn't have any friends.
I am lost, torn and don't know what to do. I feel like a doormat. Please, can you give some piece of advice? He seems not to love me anymore or he just wants me to obey, to have under his thumb.
He does not help around the house. I have to do it all. I even heat his every meal. I clean, i wash the dishes, i take out the garbage, i go to buy food. At the end of the day i cannot wait to go to sleep and finally get some rest.
He does not initiate intimacy. I have to the one who goes to him and ask him to make love to me. If 2 days have passed and i don't go to him he gets angry, pick up fights...He wants oral. It has become a habit for him to refuse sex in favour a bj.
He doesn not show me any sign of affection, zero.
When i try to discuss one of these issues with him he calls me names, spitts on me, pushes me. Once he left me with a swollen lip and some buises on my arm. That is the worse damage which he never considered abuse. He often tells me to get out of his house( actually it is his parents house). He has forced me to get out a couple of times together with our son. He used to call me back in tears. Now he doesn't bother telling me he is sorry. What hurts the most is that he isn't sorry. He acts as if he is doing me a favour by staying married to him. I am a bad wife, a bad mother, i do nothing wright..at least that is what he tells me almost every day. I suspected cheating, but i did not find any proof. He comes home from work, he never gets out because he doesn't have any friends.
I am lost, torn and don't know what to do. I feel like a doormat. Please, can you give some piece of advice? He seems not to love me anymore or he just wants me to obey, to have under his thumb.
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