I have never posted on a forum of any kind before but I thought I would give this a shot as I don't want to keep talking to my friends over and over.
Basically my wife and I have been married 14 years and have 5 fantastic children. Our marriage has always been pretty good, ups and downs but nothing major.
This year I had a bad year struggling with depression (I didn't seek help) and with my own troubles I didn't see how it was effecting our marriage. My wife and I spoke about it and both agreed if I didn't come good in the spring time I would seek help (Winter is long and cold where we live). Well I have come good and after a month or so my wife told me that she is no longer in love with me. I was controlling with a lot of things in our lives as I took sole responsibility for the finances, for the shopping and generally most things around the house as well as working full time and if things weren't done my way I would get angry (never abusive or violent just ****ty). Anyway my wife is not sure of our future, she is originally from another country and is very homesick at the moment which doesn't help. She wanted to move out to have some space but we have agreed to live separately in the family home for the time being. The kids don't notice as we are both shift workers.
Since she has told me how she feels I have found inner peace. She has taken over all the finances and shopping to relieve me of the stress and it has worked. I am eating better, exercising a lot (for myself and also to make myself attractive to her again as she is very fit) and drinking very little alcohol. I feel great physically and mentally about myself. I find though the uncertainty of our marriage at times unbearable. I love her deeply and miss her so much. I long just to hold her and kiss her but I have to give her space. It is hard when you think at anytime she can say "It's over". At least I can prepare myself for that if it comes to it. We have lost our spark and I don't know how to get it back as she thinks she is not ready to spend time by ourselves just yet. With 5 kids and work we get very little time to ourselves and I never realised just how little we see each other.
Anyway I guess I was looking for some advice from others that have coexisted and things have worked out in order to get passed this sense of loneliness and loss. I really want to be confident and happy all the time around her to show her the person I really am but sometimes I just want to cry. I only cry now when Im alone.
Anyway thanks for listening….I already feel a bit better!!!
Basically my wife and I have been married 14 years and have 5 fantastic children. Our marriage has always been pretty good, ups and downs but nothing major.
This year I had a bad year struggling with depression (I didn't seek help) and with my own troubles I didn't see how it was effecting our marriage. My wife and I spoke about it and both agreed if I didn't come good in the spring time I would seek help (Winter is long and cold where we live). Well I have come good and after a month or so my wife told me that she is no longer in love with me. I was controlling with a lot of things in our lives as I took sole responsibility for the finances, for the shopping and generally most things around the house as well as working full time and if things weren't done my way I would get angry (never abusive or violent just ****ty). Anyway my wife is not sure of our future, she is originally from another country and is very homesick at the moment which doesn't help. She wanted to move out to have some space but we have agreed to live separately in the family home for the time being. The kids don't notice as we are both shift workers.
Since she has told me how she feels I have found inner peace. She has taken over all the finances and shopping to relieve me of the stress and it has worked. I am eating better, exercising a lot (for myself and also to make myself attractive to her again as she is very fit) and drinking very little alcohol. I feel great physically and mentally about myself. I find though the uncertainty of our marriage at times unbearable. I love her deeply and miss her so much. I long just to hold her and kiss her but I have to give her space. It is hard when you think at anytime she can say "It's over". At least I can prepare myself for that if it comes to it. We have lost our spark and I don't know how to get it back as she thinks she is not ready to spend time by ourselves just yet. With 5 kids and work we get very little time to ourselves and I never realised just how little we see each other.
Anyway I guess I was looking for some advice from others that have coexisted and things have worked out in order to get passed this sense of loneliness and loss. I really want to be confident and happy all the time around her to show her the person I really am but sometimes I just want to cry. I only cry now when Im alone.
Anyway thanks for listening….I already feel a bit better!!!
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