Hello,
Thanks Giving diner ended with me going to stay in a hotel near our house (His house technically -I am not on the deed).
Long story short he was upset with me spending money for the hotel instead of being concerned why I didn't want to stay in the house with him..
We had a big fight and I wanted some time to be alone and think. Never mind I paid for the hotel, it wasn't even expensive.
After I got my room I came home to get my keys (house and car) and he made an ultimatum- stay or leave the house keys. I left.
In the end after my phone died while talking with him I came home to get a charger and when I walked in he said: "I missed you" and I started to cry and stayed. He simply said - forget it, don't mention it, eat some turkey, and we have not talked about it since.
In the end I paid for the hotel but didn't stay and I am not regretting paying this money not even in the slightest.
I don't feel like I owe him anything financially, we live in his house but the house is nothing like it was when he first bought it, it was a fixer upper and we both have invested money and time to fix it. Now it is beautiful, the first floor is done and I am doing drywall and paint on the second floor. I did it on the first floor among other things and now I am quite good at it.
Normally couples share mortgage or rent, in our situation where we have neither I am working my share by doing construction.
I think it is fare and I feel independent financially since we have separate bank accounts. We share expenses though - food, bills and insurance and tax.
I am going off topic here, I just have a lot on my mind, he always brings up the money like he is the"care giver" and I am bimbo who freeloads, how many times I have asked money for hair-cut? ZERO. How many times I have made him buy me stuff, zero.
I see couples that are sharing finances and are equals and work on compromises, it is a team work not one sided power play. He has admitted - in his house - his rules. I am the one who have to change, he is not interested to hear what is it that I am not happy about.
Maybe I am young and naive but I care more about feelings than money. We are both hard working and responsible people, we would be fine even without that material stress-fest that he is putting us through.
I feel better, even only "putting this on the paper" have taken a load off my mind.
After everything said and done I will try my best to make this marriage work.
Thanks for reading, I know it wasn't easy since English is not my first language.
Thanks Giving diner ended with me going to stay in a hotel near our house (His house technically -I am not on the deed).
Long story short he was upset with me spending money for the hotel instead of being concerned why I didn't want to stay in the house with him..
We had a big fight and I wanted some time to be alone and think. Never mind I paid for the hotel, it wasn't even expensive.
After I got my room I came home to get my keys (house and car) and he made an ultimatum- stay or leave the house keys. I left.
In the end after my phone died while talking with him I came home to get a charger and when I walked in he said: "I missed you" and I started to cry and stayed. He simply said - forget it, don't mention it, eat some turkey, and we have not talked about it since.
In the end I paid for the hotel but didn't stay and I am not regretting paying this money not even in the slightest.
I don't feel like I owe him anything financially, we live in his house but the house is nothing like it was when he first bought it, it was a fixer upper and we both have invested money and time to fix it. Now it is beautiful, the first floor is done and I am doing drywall and paint on the second floor. I did it on the first floor among other things and now I am quite good at it.
Normally couples share mortgage or rent, in our situation where we have neither I am working my share by doing construction.
I think it is fare and I feel independent financially since we have separate bank accounts. We share expenses though - food, bills and insurance and tax.
I am going off topic here, I just have a lot on my mind, he always brings up the money like he is the"care giver" and I am bimbo who freeloads, how many times I have asked money for hair-cut? ZERO. How many times I have made him buy me stuff, zero.
I see couples that are sharing finances and are equals and work on compromises, it is a team work not one sided power play. He has admitted - in his house - his rules. I am the one who have to change, he is not interested to hear what is it that I am not happy about.
Maybe I am young and naive but I care more about feelings than money. We are both hard working and responsible people, we would be fine even without that material stress-fest that he is putting us through.
I feel better, even only "putting this on the paper" have taken a load off my mind.
After everything said and done I will try my best to make this marriage work.
Thanks for reading, I know it wasn't easy since English is not my first language.
Put the internet to work for you.
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