I am in a very difficult marriage held together by financial limitations and the children.
After having occasional and relatively uneventful sex through the first 12 years of our 23-year marriage, it has completely stopped over the last 11. I tried to bargain sex once, and when it came time for her to pay up, she said "Lets get this over with." Nothing much happened on that occasion, and nothing has happened since.
But it is just not sex, it is all touching, all intimacy. There is no kissing, even pecks, there is no handholding, no hugging. I don't often try because I hate being turned down, but eventually I break down and just want human female contact. When I do, she turns away.
I have not cheated on her, and she has never accused me of that. I can't say the same for her, although I have no definitive proof.
Over the last year, we have discussed the topic three times in a real way, and each time her answer is different: "I was using sex as a weapon to make you change", "I am repulsed by you physically", and "I don't enjoy sex very much". I don't know what to believe, and it eats at me.
But there are two things that bother me most: If she is having sex with someone else, and what I am supposed to do in a contact-free life. I still desire physical contact and sex, and apparently am never going to get either.
She will not see a counselor because she knows she is the problem.
Any advice would be appreciated.
After having occasional and relatively uneventful sex through the first 12 years of our 23-year marriage, it has completely stopped over the last 11. I tried to bargain sex once, and when it came time for her to pay up, she said "Lets get this over with." Nothing much happened on that occasion, and nothing has happened since.
But it is just not sex, it is all touching, all intimacy. There is no kissing, even pecks, there is no handholding, no hugging. I don't often try because I hate being turned down, but eventually I break down and just want human female contact. When I do, she turns away.
I have not cheated on her, and she has never accused me of that. I can't say the same for her, although I have no definitive proof.
Over the last year, we have discussed the topic three times in a real way, and each time her answer is different: "I was using sex as a weapon to make you change", "I am repulsed by you physically", and "I don't enjoy sex very much". I don't know what to believe, and it eats at me.
But there are two things that bother me most: If she is having sex with someone else, and what I am supposed to do in a contact-free life. I still desire physical contact and sex, and apparently am never going to get either.
She will not see a counselor because she knows she is the problem.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Put the internet to work for you.
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