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Do you feel your parents played a negative role in how your life turned out?

Recently, I've been thinking about this more and more.

For example, my father had a very successful career as an academic and author, yet he sent me and my sister to an awful state school. According to my mum, he had promised to send us to a good school but changed his mind after we were born. Even worse was his decision was based on principle and not due to a lack of money etc. Me and my sister ended up getting bullied for being clever, and unsurprisingly we fell into things like alcohol and smoking towards the final years of school. Whilst my grades were OK, I'm sure they would have been much better had I gone to a good school, and I'm sure I would have been accepted into university sooner.

It makes me angry that my father, working in academia and being aware of the value of education, did this to us. Even when we were being bullied he made no effort to send us somewhere else. Eventually when we went to university, it turned out he had never put any money aside for me or my sisters education. I don't get it.

My father was never around when I was growing up. He was always at work, from 8am in the morning to 11 o'clock or so at night. I appreciate this may seem like he was working all hours to provide for us, but given the school we were going to and the nature of his work (research), I think it was more due to the fact he enjoyed the work rather than it being out necessity. As a result, it was my mum who was doing all the housework, driving, looking after me and my sister. These days I still can't help but feel a bit resentful towards him because of this. At times it was almost as if his family were getting in the way of his work, rather than the other way round.

Has anyone else had similar experiences with a parent?

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