Hi TSR,
I have a crush on a girl in college (third year) who just transferred to my school. However, she transferred to this school in part to be with her now ex-boyfriend, who neglected her a lot over their 1 year relationship and often didn't talk to her for a month. This guy's a big jerk- I've actually known him for 3 years now.
This girl is really really sweet (even before I had feelings for her, I could tell). Innocent, caring, and not a bad bone in her entire body - and everyone I know agrees.
Over the past week, we've been spending a lot more time together one-on-one, and we have had chemistry since we first met (even as just friends, etc.). She'll come over at night and, while we study (she doesn't stay the night), she'll lay her head on my shoulders and do more affectionate cuddly stuff.
However, she still is evidently not fully over her ex, who is also her FIRST boyfriend. She still defends him when her entire floor of friends (who are my friends, who have also has known her neglectful ex for 3 years) tell her that this ex is an douchebag. She brings him up from time to time.
Any advice? What should I do? I don't intend to just quit because she might have lingering feelings, but I'm willing to wait before I make a move. Should I give her more space to figure it out? Should I accept my friends' offers of help to get to know her better and steer her away from her ex? How exactly should I play this, and how affectionate should I be with her in case I am at risk of being her rebound (at least, until she clears her feelings)?
Thanks for any all advice and thoughts, I really need it :( She is a really sweet girl, and I don't think she'd intentionally try to 'use' me, but I still don't want to be a rebound
I have a crush on a girl in college (third year) who just transferred to my school. However, she transferred to this school in part to be with her now ex-boyfriend, who neglected her a lot over their 1 year relationship and often didn't talk to her for a month. This guy's a big jerk- I've actually known him for 3 years now.
This girl is really really sweet (even before I had feelings for her, I could tell). Innocent, caring, and not a bad bone in her entire body - and everyone I know agrees.
Over the past week, we've been spending a lot more time together one-on-one, and we have had chemistry since we first met (even as just friends, etc.). She'll come over at night and, while we study (she doesn't stay the night), she'll lay her head on my shoulders and do more affectionate cuddly stuff.
However, she still is evidently not fully over her ex, who is also her FIRST boyfriend. She still defends him when her entire floor of friends (who are my friends, who have also has known her neglectful ex for 3 years) tell her that this ex is an douchebag. She brings him up from time to time.
Any advice? What should I do? I don't intend to just quit because she might have lingering feelings, but I'm willing to wait before I make a move. Should I give her more space to figure it out? Should I accept my friends' offers of help to get to know her better and steer her away from her ex? How exactly should I play this, and how affectionate should I be with her in case I am at risk of being her rebound (at least, until she clears her feelings)?
Thanks for any all advice and thoughts, I really need it :( She is a really sweet girl, and I don't think she'd intentionally try to 'use' me, but I still don't want to be a rebound
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