So confused...don't know what to do?

I'm 18 Before I go on I would like to say I love my parents very dearly... However they are very strict muslims and I for one do not believe in Islam, however I cannot mention this as I would be hurt quite badly...But anyway, I began to date a girl etc...this is forbidden in my religion and as such I kept it secret until one day I told my parents...they flipped out and were going to harm me so I pretended to have broken up with her...they said she was a white slag, she was probably a prostitute and loved ten other guys...etc and that they would never have accepted her into our family even if I chose to marry her anyway because of her race and they will only let me marry who they choose..after they show me a bunch of pics etc. So yeah I am still with her but have pretended to have broken for our safety..I really don't know what to do...? They have also recently discovered my sister has been talking to a few guys over facebook (only as friends) and have threatened to beat her up etc for it... I'm not sure what I can do I want to live my life...but everything is forbidden...I am always told I am not white and I am my own race so stop acting white...there are things I would like to do which I can never experience like getting a small tattoo etc...I have to be home before 9pm always or I get in trouble and I can't have girls as friends... I have amassed 10,000 in savings by selling random junk over the past 3 years (and I also have older friends who could offer me a job so this is not a problem)...but my parents do not know about this as they do not watch my bank acc..so I could have enough for a few years rent if I did move out...but I don't know? Everytime I think about wanting to do something I feel guilty...because if I ever chose to move out they would not let me until I am married...and if I did move out before then, then I would be straightaway disowned...also I cannot officially be with my girlfriend because I will be disowned...my mom also said she would never let me see her again even at her funeral... and these are not empty threats... I just don't know what to do I've been overeating and I can't think straight anymore...

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