H who's depressed/angry. I just want peace.

We've been married for 13 years and we have two kids. Boy-13 and girl-4. got married right out of high school. I've been trying to make it work for a very long time. Here are the reasons why I'm to the point that I'm at in our relationship. (Btw, he knows I'm not happy, we've discussed divorce and he knows that I'm not fully vested in this relationship working, but says that our kids need both of us and I can't be both parents.) Okay, here we go: He's angry, emotionally abusive, the world isn't worth living in, everyone is f'ed up (everyone!), only scum make it in this world, when i try to get our kids to do what he is asking he yells at me and says our kids don't respect him because of me, he's never had a "good day", lazy and tired, drinks heavily (has tried to slow down), has been suicidal on 2-3 different occassions, puts our kids down to me and in front of them, makes fun of people right in front of them, and most of all, we don't agree on how to address our kids, how to raise them (he thinks so much is a "big deal" and just don't think they are. I think he needs to back off.), and he relies on my to take care of almost everything. Good thing: He wants to be better at drinking and helping out around the house and has, he wants good things for his kids, he loves me, but i'm not sure he knows what that really means, he cares about taking care of his family financially, we do get along when the kids aren't envolved and he can stay out of the dark side of his brain. Me, I'm such a positive, optomistic and outgoing person, caring, patient and giving. Of course I have my faults, but these are the areas about me that become negatively impacted when he goes into one or all of his rants and tears. I've just been beaten down and I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel, I'm scared my kids are going to hate him or at least my son, don't think I'm ever going to experience peace in my own home and that's the one thing that I demand out of my life. I need love, happiness, fun and family. No it doesn't have to be all day everyday, but the majority of down time would be nice. It's always, "I'll be happier if this happens...when this happens...". But I don't believe it. I'm afraid that I'm always going to be miserable and angry too. But I also wonder, if I am on my own, will I be putting myself in a depressed state of mind? Am I forcing the happiness that I do have out of self-preservation? Does anyone have any positive and constructive advise for my perdicament? I think I'm ready to pull the trigger, but I just don't know where I stand on the relationship charts. Thanks!

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