Obsessed

I am on this forum on behalf of my mother, who in my opinion has lost the plot and on the verge of a break down. She has very little education which i am confident is why she can not get over the seperation with my dad. She won't get help and i am at a loss. She was married to my dad for 40 years. He beat her in the early days but treated her very badly alot of the time. They argued alot. She suspected him cheating on her and could never prove it and he would never admit it. Even to me. She thought she would leave him and i guess hope he would come running after her. But he didn't. She took him to court and they officially seperated assets etc. 4 years ago. She then wished she never left and wanted him back regardless of how he treated her (we all supported her leaving him) she says she misses all the family and friends coming to the house and her being the host (she is turkish and loves to entertain). In January this year she obviously hadn't got over the seperation and the suspicion of the other woman and she lied to us saying she was going out to dinner with friends and drove 2 hours to where the other woman lived. Kicked her door in and bashed her and tried to bash dad (who was there) We thought she might have got it out of her system now that she proved her suspicions. but she hasn't. She lives and breathes this hatred to this other woman. SHe says she has wrecked our family and she is going to get pay back. She says doesn't want to be happy and she will only be happy if she is dead and dad is dead. She said she doesn't want to get on with her life and doesn't want to be happy. She will constanly break down in tears to us saying we don't understand and we stick up for dad. She even asked us to stop talking to him and give him a ulimatum either he leaves her or he won't see us or his grand children. I refused to this. SHe is 67 years old, has 13 healthy grandchildren, 6 healthy children and so many people in our lives are going through terrible things much worse than a misserable marriage break up. She has seen a counsellor and says they just listen and nothing else happens. she tells all her friends her miserable story and they are sick of it as we are as she won't move on. I have no idea what to do. I think she will do something silly as she has proven that when she went to the house and kicked the door in. Can someone point me in the right direction as to what sort of help mum needs. I am desperate before she does something to harm dad, the girlfriend or herself. Thanks

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