What was going through his mind?

This is a long story, but I desperately need someones advice: So, about 6 years ago, my husband and I were living in an apartment and became good friends with our neighbor and her brother (her brother didnt live there but since he was a truck driver, he was there quite a bit) It was obvious that her brother, John, liked me, and we spent every waking moment together that he was in town, and we became really close friends. About a year later my husband and I split up, long story short, it had nothing to do with John, my husband was very immature and I caught him attempting to cheat on me, as well as other things. After my husband and I split up things escalated between John and I. His feelings became more apparent, although Im still unclear as to whether he just liked me or actually loved me. He would call me several times a day, and we'd talk for hours. The minute he got to his sisters, he would call me and tell me to come over, and we would sit up together until the early morning hours. The nights that he had to sleep so he could work in the morning, he made me promise to call him and wake him up, I even remember him saying "you're my alarm clock, and I love waking up to your voice." Then he would ask if I would talk to him while he drove his two hours. We never went out on one on one dates, but we did a lot of 'family outings' since him and his sister both had kids (he only had one) and we never actually began 'officially' dating. He was very upfront about what he wanted to say (like I was pretty, I was fun to hang out with, he wished I was his baby momma (bit of an inside joke)) b ut he never actually came out and told me how he felt. I was utterly in love with this guy. He did a lot of flirting, and a lot of coping a feel, but we never got actually intimate until one night when we came really close to having sex. The next day I showed up expecting things to pick up where they left off the night before, but that day he was completely ignoring me, he avoided eye contact with me as much as he could, and he acted like the night before never happened. Later that night, everyone went to bed and it was just him and I sitting in the living room, again, I was expecting for him to make his move, but instead, without saying a word, he got up, went upstairs and went to bed, leaving me in my neighbors apartment by myself. I dont know what I did wrong, and I have this undying need to understand what he was thinking and why he did that? After that, he didnt come over to my neighbors nearly as often, when he did, he wouldnt make an attempt to call me over like he usually did. He stopped calling me completely. At one point in time, I asked my neighbor why he was acting that way, and she said he claimed it was because I was still married, but he knew fully well that I was separated, living alone, and wanted to be with him. The day I moved out of the apartment was the last I heard from or about him. I remained friends with my neighbor, and talked to her quite a bit, but we always avoided conversation involving John. Within the next 6 years, my husband and I had gotten back together, bought a house, and moved on from all of that, we've had our ups and downs, but we made it work. For several years, John had become completely forgotten in my mind, until just recently, when his now teenage daughter friend requested me, and then I found out that John was engaged and just recently had another baby. Ever since then, I have been thinking way too much about John, feeling depressed, regretting that things didnt work out between him and I, thinking 'that could have been my happiness' and as stupid as it sounds, I even find myself hoping that he'll remember what we had and come running back. Now Im not naive, as a matter of fact, Im studying to be a psychologist, so I am fully aware of my stupid ways of thinking and have some clue as to why Im thinking this way, BUT, what a psychologist doesnt have, is an outside perspective, and what a female doesnt have, is a males point of view (havent gotten that far in studies yet lol) which is the point of the (long) forum. I guess my questions to all of you is, how would you interpret his feelings for me? Did he just like me or do you think he was falling in love with me? Why did he just up and walk out on me, and then act like I was nobody? Even though he seems to have moved on and is happy, do you think he still thinks about me? I do love my husband, I know Im not completely happy with him and our relationship, but who is? And I know theres not a chance in hell that things will ever work out between John and I, considering I am married, he is engaged and just had a baby, but unfortunately, that knowledge doesnt stop my heart from hurting at the mere thought of him. I would appreciate anyones insight.

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