opinions/advice - posted in wrong forum originally

I posted in the Ladies Lounge originally...I have no clue what I'm doing yet. I have been reading posts and learning so much. I really appreciate everyone who has posted and responded. It's a great place for people like me (and others too), who have no one they can talk to. i have an issue that i really don't know if i am overreacting to. for background info, we each know the other's passwords to email, facebook, etc. he knows i look at his email from time to time, and he can look at mine, although i don't think he ever does. my husband has been "secretly" emailing another female for 3 weeks (he thinks it's secret because he deletes the email quickly - however, he forgets to delete his sent mail). he actually does not know her. there has been some minor teasing and risque talk, but nothing real specific until last friday. in her friday email she requested they meet to talk, and suggested a sexual encounter if he was interested. he agreed to meet her, and agreed to the sex. he did go to meet her, but she did not show up because it was bad weather. here is where it gets interesting. because i had read the email, i also went and parked away from the meeting spot (a mall) to see if he would show. he did. he knows that i saw him there, and that i know what he was doing there. he begged me to come home, begged me to not leave him, told me he didn't know why he went, he didn't intend to do anything more than talk, etc., etc., etc. i feel like i was clear in stating how i felt. i stayed at my mother's the first 24 hours (but didn't tell her why). then went home. it's been cool since then, but i've tried to be considerate toward him. surprise, this friday he gets another email saying, hey what are your plans? he replied saying he had plans with his wife (me) which was a little explicit, but that she could send him photos of "her girls" (not the word he used, i'm just keeping it clean) and that would be ok with him. I exploded when i saw the email. i told him it was never ok with me for him to talk to another woman like that, even if it was about me! and asking to see "her girls," no way! i've said in the past, and specifically again last week, that if he wouldn't say it in front of me, he should not say it at all. best/worst of all, when i showed him the email and asked why he said that, he looked blank, like "what?" i didn't say anything that wasn't about you. he also said "i thought this was ok to say." HUH? opinions? am i blind and he's planning to cheat on me? is it only a matter of time? or, is he addicted to this behavior because it thrills him? i never thought he would cheat on me until last friday - now i have told him i have lost my trust in that area. I will say as an update - he has been remorseful all week. He told me today he feels like he has ruined everything in our relationship. I didn't respond. I don't know how to respond to him from this point.

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