Made a huge mistake. Cost me big.

Long story broken down: Years 3-5 of our marriage, I admit I was a jerk to her. I didn't feel like I loved her anymore. I slept with about ten different women during this time. She suspected me, but never had any solid proof. I'm ashamed of this and boy do I regret it now. Yes, I believe in karma. Yes, I feel I deserve what I'm getting. Yes, I will never cheat on someone I love ever again. I learned it really wasn't worth it. Our daughter was born 5 years into the M and I came around. I found out how happy I was with them, and loved them madly. It kills me that my house is empty. No munchkin to wake me up and run around, no wife to fall asleep holding after making love. 6 years into the M and with our daughter 1 y.o., I find out she had a long term sexting relationship with someone on the west coast (thousands of miles away). I'm devastated, forgive her, try to work it out. She says she regrets it, wants to be with me, wants to make it work. For the next two years, things get worse, instead of better. She doesnt show she wants to make it work, she acts like she doesnt love me anymore, she tells me this. She starts going to the gym ALOT with her sister (sister is a *****, ended up banging her personal trainer, repeatedly, and other guys as well. Has two kids, getting divorced too). She starts hanging out with single and promiscuous girl friends, wanting privacy, freedom to come and go as she pleases for "girls nights out". Then she says she's not in love with me anymore, wants to just be friends. Doesnt even want to do marriage counseling, and is very secretive with her sister. Her, her sister, and the kids get their own apartment. I know shes been "talking" to other guys, probably sleeping around just like her sister. I feel like i had my heart and a lung ripped out. I tried taking my mind off her with other girls, but I still miss her and my daughter very much. I'm not here for pity, I said I know I deserve all this. But just needed to vent. When I find a girl I love again, I will cherish her, and never cheat on her. We hurt each other a lot, and this is where it's got us now.

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