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Is my marriage normal?

I don't actually do this forum thing. But I'm just really at a loss. I would appreciate some advice especially from those who are in a happy relationship.

Is my marriage normal? Or should I be worried? My heart bleeds but I also wonder if the problem is only in head...

Always comes home late
My husband always comes home late everyday (ie. 10-11pm). He is a high level executive and doesn't really do it for OT. He doesn't leave work at 6pm even though he can because he says he doesn't want to get stuck in traffic, and of course, there's a lot of work. Yes he does bring me chocolate/cake/food on most nights. But when he comes home from work, he usually logs into his computer to do a bit more work, check on stocks, do his accounting. I simply wait for him in our room, in the dark. My heart just bleeds. How can the computer be more important than being with your wife?

Yes we talk about it. He promises to come home earlier but he can just never stick to it. The only time he comes home early is on Wednesdays. We do have a weekly date day. Date days are good except that he is still usually on the phone or browsing through his blackberry. And lately I've been feeling he's "spacing" out.

Sexless marriage
We've always had a so so sex life. Once every 2-3 months or so. We just sort of agreed that we are both not good in that department. He cannot sustain his long enough so things always end misserably. I tell him it's ok as long as we connect but he still beats himself up about it. I am fit and I do look good. But I've never had any other relationships apart from him so it's not like I've had practice in that department. I do read books to spice things up but with out much success. Lately our marriage is almost sexless.

Gay porn
Lately I found out (accidentally) that he has been watching porn a lot. Gay porn. I asked him if he is gay. He said he is not. He is just curious and he is just wondering how his can be as big. I saw tons of gay after gay porn sites. I trust him but I'm just not quit sure how to tie things up. You check a couple of sites if you are curious. But a series of it with but a handful of straight porn sites in between??

No family meals together
We do not have family meals together. We do not have a kitchen actually. He and the kids (7 & 8) eat at my inlaws everyday. At night, the kids eat at my inlaws before they are dropped off at my house. My husband always eats out. I'm not exactly a housewife material and my inlaws love to cook and their house is very near ours. We both love the convinience but lately I've been wondering wether our home is but a boarding house. Maybe it's the reason why he doesn't come home early.?

I know he loves me and I love him. We both love the kids. We are each other's best friend. I'm just not sure if we are in a platonic relationship and if we are, can this be sustained over the long haul?

I try to keep a positive outlook. We are both excellent communicators. No nagging. No blaming. Always positive talk but I'm just not sure if either one of us know how to pinpoint the problem(s). Or maybe there is no problem? Is this how a 10 year marriage really suppose to look like? Devoid of intimacy?

I've read a couple of books in Amazon. But if you have any recommendations, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks




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