I forgave my wife for cheating but I still can't get over the things she did with him

Hello, Me and my wife have been working on our marriage since she cheated on me last summer. She was cheating on me with some loser that worked at the mall. I actually knew the guy since we had a few common friends. I found out only after I came home early one day and found them having sex on our bed. I fell out with the guy and I honestly wanted to hit him. The only thing holding me back was my job and the fact that I could lose it if I go to jail. He did tried to push me over the edge. My wife told him everything about our sex life and how it was stalled. He called me on the phone bragging about all the times he slept with her and how she gave him oral sex. This hurt me because my wife hasn't given me oral sex in about 3 years. Yet, she does it with no problem with this loser. He also told me he had his way with her and that he shot many kids in her face. He also sent me text pictures of them having sex. I confronted my wife about this and she denied giving him oral sex. She said that she only cheated because she was lonely and he was available. I found out she was lying about the oral sex because she told another friend how large the other guy was and how it turned her on giving him oral sex. That hurt me more since I'm not large myself but yet she decided to marry me and make me believe that she loved me. We got in a bad fight last week and I threw it in her face how she cheated on me and gave him oral sex. In the heat of the moment, she told me that she did give him oral sex and that he was 3 times the size of me. I started crying and she apologized. This made me realize that I'm not over this. I feel that I cannot satisfy her and even if we stay together, she will not be sexually attracted to me. She has offered to give me oral sex since then but I said no. It just doesn't feel right and I want her to do it because she wants to, not because she was coerced. So what should I do? How should I get over this?

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