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Brother is agressive

Hi all,

I really just need to get a few things of my chest. There are a few issues I have had to deal whilst growing up. In the past I have had to deal with bullying, harassment, violence, cheating from guys, academic/career issues, family issues (being of South Asian origin in my culture wealth and status is a massive issue and because my parents worked hard and are not at the "top end" of the spectrum we have always been looked down upon by our relatives even though I feel they have done well, culture and religion issues to name a few.

Despite the above I am a much much stronger person than I was when I was 19 (now 24). Now if thing's happen I am very ruthless and aggressive in my approach and I am beginning to lack sympathy with petty issues in life and tackle issues head on and deal with issues practically.

The biggest issue right now for our whole family has been my brothers constant array of angry and aggressive moods. In the past he has threatened to kill me, hurt me, or do something terrible. He shouts at my parents and gets aggressive with them for nothing. He has depression but does not realise this - I have been in the pits of depression in my early teens - self harming etc but his view is he has never dealt with his problems and has lived in the past.

He is lazy in the sense he does not apply for jobs, not even making an effort cleaning the house, I had no job for nearly 3 years and can understand how difficult it is but I was making loads of applications constantly and never gave up (despite several terrible job experiences and I wanted to get better) and if I could not get a job I looked at alternative strategies.

I have tried to offer my support and he has never taken - I want him to do well for the sake of my parents because they don't know how to deal with him and because my parents are too soft - my brother thinks it is his every right to swear and threat to hurt them or even "spit" at my mum which makes me so angry - bless my parents they are getting old now and my brother is 26 in July - it is not acceptable for my brother to be throwing abuse at the family like this but it got out of hand 2 days ago and I could not bear to see him it is not acceptable to swear at my parents or treat them bad and even his threats to hurt me so I had to phone the police on him and this was only to teach him a lesson that it is not ok to be verbally violent and make threats no matter how bad your life is - I understand it is not easy.

As a result of the above my parents really took it bad and said I made a big mistake. This whole situation seemed to calm my older brother down quite a significant amount with his anger issues and I told the police he needs therapy. My brother is naturally not very happy with me and said he never imagined me doing this and that he only says those things in anger and frustration and all he wanted was support - he thinks I am evil and apparently ruined his life and put him into the pits of depression even more and wants to have nothing to do with me.

I was prepared for this and it does not make me happy seeing him unhappy but I could not see my parents suffer with his aggressive approach anymore - they have had to deal with it for 5 plus years now. My mum has an operation next week and it does not make the situation easy as everyone is saying how heartless I am. I am not sure what to do or how to make things better? But dad said unity is important and the issue is he is very stubborn and doesn't want to help himself.

Dad also wants me to get married fast and out of the house because I am nothing but trouble :-/ I just hope he realises I did want my brother to learn the hard way so he does not get violent. I also want to add I am no saint myself because I have also been a bit emotional and moody with everyone because my periods have not come yet and before I start I get very weepy for nothing so maybe I am making a mountain out of a mole hill? arg don't know

Sorry for long vent




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