Help, I really need some advice!!

My husband and I have been together for 12 years married for about 4. We have had ups and downs like many couples, but about a year ago, my husband had a meltdown. He was hospitalized for OCD, suicidal thoughts and depression. A few weeks ago he was hospitalized again. He has been really depressed and suicidal, drinking a lot. To boot, we have not been intimate for about 4 months and not much in general for the last year. About a month ago he told me he "loves me like a friend or family member." He told me he is not attracted to me anymore and hasn't been for some time. Too make it worse, he has attraction for other women, so its not just his meds making a low drive. This really hurts. Then there was a coworker that I felt he might like, many text messages were exchange. When I asked him about it he lied. This lying occurred multiple times. When I asked if he had a crush or had feelings for her he always said no. This last week he admitted he had feelings for her, but not anymore. Yet another lie, he then admits that he still has feelings for her. What do I do with this? Essentially we are sexually and emotionally disconnected, he is not attracted to me but to another woman, and he is emotionally unstable himself. We both still want it to work and love each other very much. We are in counselling and he is also in individual counselling, but is it really a possibility to reconnect, him to be attracted to me again, and not attracted to her? Last week he told me he thought about starting something with her, imagined what life would be like with her, he even talked about it to his mother. He says he was not serious about it. Is all of this just stemming from his medication or some sort of identity crisis/mid-life crisis? Any advise please post!!!! I am so hurt and don't know what to do.

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