| It all started when my husband left the job he'd been doing previously, and came to the one where I was working. I thought that working together would maybe bring us a little closer, since we'd have more to relate with, and that it would make life in general a little more easy for many other reasons. I never once thought that I would suddenly have this indescribable worry and dread that is impossible for me to ignore or push aside for very long. But, much to my dismay, that's exactly what happened. It didn't start too long after he got there. Soon, he started talking about this woman from work, one that he saw on a daily basis and interacted with throughout the day regularly due to the work we all do, while I was in another office and only saw him before and after work, or during lunch. It was just one story about her, which is why I didn't pay it much attention at first, because people talk about people. That's just what they do. But then I realized that it was becoming a more frequent thing, and the troubling aspect of it was, he was only talking about one of the many women he works just as closely with. He was saying teasing things about her. Saying how short she was, but in a way that made it seem like he thought she was cute. I could see by the way he smiled that he did. He would talk about how she did this, or that, and just seemed to be bringing her up whenever he got the chance. He even stopped mentioning the guys he worked with, and the topic somehow always was about, or, if I tried to change it, came back to her. It really bothered me. So one day I asked him, just curious as to what he would say, "If I wanted you to stop talking to someone -- anyone -- would you do it?" Immediately he retorted, "Are you jealous of So-And-So?!" I hadn't mentioned a gender, and the fact that she was the first thing that came to his mind worried me. After that, he seemed to calm down when it came to talking about her. Then one day, on our way home, she happened to be crossing the street. When he realized it was her, and saw her wave at him, (which I'm not sure if it's important but she didn't acknowledge the fact that I was in the car at all in any way) his face lit up so brightly that I instantly felt this immense sadness, and for a guy that almost never smiles, and never does outside of the house, he was grinning ear to ear and waved back. I felt stupid this whole time, like I was just starting to become this jealous person I never used to be, that I was making stuff up, or just singling things out, but things progressed from there. The employees of our job went on a trip, and being pregnant, I couldn't go, when he came back the first person he had to say anything about was this woman, and he couldn't wait to tell me how he and the guys were being so loud that she came in to the room they were in, half asleep since it was so late, with her hair all messy in this cute way, with one eye closed telling them to keep it down. And as he told me, he smiled the whole time, in a way that just didn't sit well with me. I knew then, that even if he wasn't cheating, which I'm still not sure if he was/is, he was undoubtedly attracted to her. And that terrified me, and terrifies me still. I stopped acknowledging any conversation about her. For a while we grew distant from each other. I was so worried that he was becoming more and more attracted to this woman, that I could barely act normal. But over time, when he quieted down again, I started to get back into the normal flow of things. There were a couple more little things that happened that, from what I've read from sites like these and others, could be red flags. Last night, I was showing him a video of my training about a year ago. The woman and I did the same training. Every time there was a frame with her in it, he would make the effort to pause the video, or go back to where he thought he saw her and then pause it, and point it out. He'd laugh and smile. I don't want to overreact, but I'm afraid that his attraction for this woman will grow into something more and that eventually, down the line, when he has an opportunity, he'll cheat on me with her. I know her, and I hear a lot about her from fellow co-workers. She is a huge flirt. My husband told me a story about how they were all sitting together and she stretched out her leg so she could place her feet on his foot. So it was obvious she was/is attracted to him too, and that makes me feel like she would provide that opportunity for them to do something. I need advice, badly. I'm desperate to get some. I find myself worrying when he goes out that he's sneaking away to do something with her. And more often, I find myself worrying that he's more attracted to her than he is me, that he thinks about her more than he thinks about me. I'm terrified to lose him to someone else, and I try so hard not to. I try to make him as happy as possible in all ways that I can. If anyone could give me some insight, or just share their opinions on whether or not I should feel this afraid and worried, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
No comments:
Post a Comment