trying to keep it together

My husband left the house two weeks ago. He never said he wanted a divorce but I don't know what to expect. I did not kick him out and we did not have an argument before he left. But he did say that he doesn't feel appreciated and that we argue too much. I keep a clean house, take good care of our children, I used take my husband to work everyday and do nice things to show that I care. My husband had cheated on me and we used to have physical altercations. Despite those things I stood by him, I didn't know it was that bad to make him want to leave. I told him he can come home and that I thought we should start counseling before he officially moves back, so things can be right. I'm feeling an overwhelming array of emotions. I am really devastated, I have two little ones under five and my daughter asks me about her daddy and he hasn't called her in two days. I told him that we should be able to co-parent but I don't think he wants to be bothered at all. I let him know I never wanted him to leave and that this is breaking my heart that we are not together. He seems very cold and heartless when we talk. I don't know what has triggered this. I don't know why he doesn't feel appreciated, because for me to stand by him and work through our relationship problems means I'm committed and I love him and I thought that shows appreciation. When I asked him what can I do to make him feel more appreciated, he never gives me an answer. I tell him thank you when he does nice things and I thought that was appreciation. I just feel so crushed. I'm not perfect and I make mistakes, I have moods and I need alone time too but I have never just left my family. I have always been faithful and loyal. I just wonder will he ever come home? Why doesn't he miss me, or why does it seem like I miss him more? Why is he giving me the cold shoulder when he left us? All the blame seems to be put on me, my actions, my words, just like I'm a horrible person. Its really not like that at all, and I don't know why he is acting like this towards me. I wonder if he has another woman or if he just is really over me. I want our marriage to work but he sounds hopeless and irritated about our future when we talk. I got a text saying that he loves and missed me and that was the last time we communicated. He hasn't gotten any clothes he hasn't come back to the house since he left. Now it seems his phone bill hasn't been paid so that's the excuse he might use for lack of communication and that is not right in my opinion. There are many people who have phones and he could have at least called his kids. Can anyone give me some insight as to why men do this? If not, then please Pray for me, I never felt this low before but I know it will get better with time, until then I'm trying to keep it together...

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629984