| I am not 100% sure this is the right place for this, but it certainly relates to my infidelity and I'm sure there are people here who may have helpful thoughts. Quick background: I'm the WS. D-Day was 6 weeks ago, though the PA had ended 9 months before that. We are living together, fully in R mode, and having many positive days and moments. IC and MC weekly. But she's still super angry with me, and her thoughts often turn to hurting me or getting back at me. Lately her focus has been on having a revenge ONS, which she could tell me about afterward in order to even the score and protect herself a bit from her fear that we will R and then I will screw up again. Honestly, I'm not sure she'd ever go through with anything, but she's clearly enjoying telling me that it might happen, even during sex. Her take is that I can't object, and she doesn't care if I do, since I've already ruined the specialness of that part of our marriage (it was a pure PA, no emotional content really). Is this a phase? Did others go through this? And crazy question maybe: might it be helpful for her to recover from the pain I've caused if she did? Honestly, I'd cut off my arm if I thought it would relieve her from the sadness and disappointment. | |||
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