| So i'm seeing this guy, ill call him dave, he's a gemini and it fits him to the tee. I met him in February at a party and we instantly hit it off, although he was pretty drunk at the party. He kissed me goodbye and the next day he came to my house and hung out. we watched movies, played pool, etc. Well after a few more times of hanging out, both alone and with friends, we had sex. After that I kinda felt like every time he wanted to hang out it was because of sex, even though he didn't say it. So since we weren't exclusive i was dating other people (not sex, just accepting dates if asked). I have 3 brothers and they all tell me not to be exclusive to someone unless the guy defines the relationship. SO. One Friday he asked me to hang out. i told him i was studying, and ended up going to a club that night because my friend forced me to. Well, of course he was there and questioned it. I explained, and everything was okay. We went back to my place and ended up having sex again. That night he invited me to watch his game and when i went I happen to meet his mom in the stands. She loved me. Anyway, for about a month we were seeing each other and during that time we only talked about where it was going once. He asked me "so what are we" and before i could even process the question he answered it himself by saying he didn't want to complicate things and we should just be friends who have sex. I agreed that i didnt want to complicate things. Well one night we went to a party and I overheard him talking to his friend saying he wanted to go 'get it in' with me and then he would come back to hang out. I ignored him as he ran after me and texted/called me because i was mad at how he was talking about me to his friend. He apologized a lot after that and said he would make it up to me because i'm a really nice girl but I never really gave him another chance and began dating another guy, a mutual friend. When he found out about it h e asked me "if you arent exclusive with him i would really like to make it up to you for being a dick that night". I ignored the comment but then that weekend i went to a party and he was there. at first we werent talking but as the night went on we kinda started talking and since we get along so great we were joking around the whole night. Not in a flirty way. The guy i was sort of seeing at the time started annoying me because i'm not down with jealousy or pda and it was obvious he was feeling insecure. so insecure that when we left the party he told me he loved me...after about 3 weeks of casual beginning dating? i freaked and totally lost interest. that's what happens if i rush it with someone. So the next day when dave asked me to go to mini golf and get dinner i accepted the invite and since then everything has been so different then the "first phase" of us. He calls me to talk, he brought me to his sisters graduation, we went on a weekend trip together, i hang out at his house and have many convos with his mom and dad and have dinner with them. We went bowling, i took him out for his bday/got him a bday present he loved...He's met and hung out with many of my friends, and i should say that i haven't introduced anyone to any of my girl friends ...ever, since high school, not even long term bfs. On the weekend trip when drunk we talked about why we like each other and he said he likes me because i have a job that helps people (speech pathology) and im friendly and kind. and i have everything figured out and it's good that im independent. and because im not snobby even though im from a rich town. He said that im awesome he has so much fun with me. The only thing is that we haven't defined the relationship...normally when im talking to a guy the guy rushes into a relationship. in fact, i am never the one who likes a guy more than they like me, it's always the opposite. I'm not saying he doesnt like me equally, but im always sure about the fa ct that the guy wants to be my bf. i'm the one who usually backs off. I just feel like things are changing. He never used to kiss me more than a quick peck. now not only is sex more intimate, but he cuddles, we make out, he kisses my forehead...the only thing is that he isn't very verbal with his emotions. but i feel like that's how a lot of guys are, at least that's what my brother says. While I know we aren't exclusive i still like to know where i stand. I guess i know that he isnt dating anyone else but i also don't know if he's still hooking up with girls randomly when he goes out. ..i assume he is because idk, we aren't exclusive so why would he cut himself off from that? I just want to know if anyone's been in this situation and had this shift. i feel like it happened because he realized that 1. i wasn't gonna take being disrespected and 2. we've become really great friends now...not only that but he expressed how much he cared that i get along with his sister, talked to his mom, and that my friends liked him. He also always says "i still havent met your youngest brother". I see us getting closer and I see that we text almost every day even if we aren't going to meet up he still initiates convos...but he has a one track mind and is a typical guy. IDK -- Is it possible for us to go from phase 1 being fwb to this new phase being us slowly moving into a relationship? It's only begun changing since around the end of april so i'm not about to freak him out and make defining the relationship a big deal...esp since he just got out of a rel in january and i know hes kinda still dealing with those feelings of hurt since she cheated on him and then left him. Is it smart to just let this keep going and see where it progresses? Or is it necessary to actually get the guts to have a formal convo about it? i feel like it may be too soon for him given the circumstances. if he asked me to be exclusive i would, and im sure he would too if i asked him, but i also know that in my past ive liked people who expressed the need to get into a rel with me too quickly and my feelings for them went away quickly. ANY ADVICE/PERSONAL EXPERIENCES APPRECIATED. |
No comments:
Post a Comment