My GF's ex committed suicide

Hello, I need help. Mutual friends had introduced my GF last year in April, we hit it off and have been very serious and strong for a year. Now... My GF has a 18 yr boy and 16 yr girl, Her Ex....their Dad ...died of a self inflicted gun shot on June 12 last year. She was with him 17 years and filed divorce twice and never went through with it. She was living in an apartment for a year before we met. She took care of the funeral and had cleaners fix and clean the house,she also seen the crime scene and took over where his business left off ect. ect. ect. I admired her for her strength and the way she handled things,she helped her kids through this...its been a rough road on the daughter. I haven't mentioned yet the whole marriage was unhappy very abuseful and draining,shes had broken bones,bloody kids ect. ect. from her husband who suffers from alcohol and drug use. This last Memorial weekend she has gotten distant from me and friends, she says she's having a hard time with it,I believe the shock is gone and her kids are on their feet and she is finally starting to grieve,her son graduates this week and she is sad, sad at any milestone for her kids, I can understand. What Im struggling with is I usually hear from her everyday and this week only once all week,ive left her alone to have some space. I feel like the ex is getting all the honor and respect, I feel slightly betrayed and backstabbed, I just learned (through a friend)that she finally bought a bench for his grave site and it has her name on it too!! she told the mutual friend that she wants to be buried next to the kids father. I was devastated when I heard this,she does not know that I know,How can I have a future with this person when I know this info,I have nothing to look forward too. I don't know whether to bolt or try to tough this out,I don't know what to do, She is an amazing person but cant believe that ive been treated like this the last week. thank you for your help in advance. And if I stay by her side how do I get her help? She's gotta have post tramatic stress.

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