| So a little background info I am 27 my husband is 30 and we have been together for about 8 years married for 3....We have no kids...and some financial problems. My husband is with out a doubt my best friend. We are very, very close and I love him dearly but some things have changed for the worst. His personality has changed almost completely these last 2 years....He's become selfish, arrogant, and lazy. Also, our sex life that was pretty regular, in that we couldn't keep our hands off eachother has become stagnant. He, not I within the last 2 years has refused sex so often that we have only had sex probably about 10 times in the past 2 years...he'd have different excuses, yet would spend hours looking at porn. This frustrated me to no end because I am a very sexual woman, I mean I have joked with girlfriends about how I must have the mind of a man. lol. I tried lingerie, role-play, dressing up, I mean everything to get his attention. On top of this he started ignoring me, ignoring his responsibilities around the house, and just saying mean, hurtful things. This is not the man I fell in love with....he used to be kind, romantic, and soft spoken....never ever cruel... Well long story short I put my foot down and said the D word. Divorce. I said if he did not straighten up I was leaving him. He has since improved, but yet has this little bad personality relapses, and we fight. I talked to him about sex, and said that I had needs, and could not live without sex anymore...he said he was not physically attracted to me, so I dropped the weight I had gained since we have been married and now he intiates sex more often....I should be happy but thing is the sex is different...its more mechanical, and there seems to be no connection between us anymore....Maybe its because I shut myself down sexually for so long....I am not sure....he is also getting me to do all these crazy sex positions which I happily oblige to, probably wants to spice things up....but truth is....I don't really enjoy myself like I used to....I don't lust after him at all, its very empty....its almost weird like that feeling you get intimate with a friend, and its awkward, like n o, that didn't work at all.....he hasn't changed physically but his personality has definitely changed.... anyway I love him more than anything and I've love to get that passion back into our lives....any ideas? I mean is this normal....like a side effect of being too comfortable with eachother? I mean our friendship is great its our relationship that is having problems... any advice would be greatly, greatly appreciated....thanks! | |||
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