I don't even know how to handle these fights anymore! About 2 days ago my husband threw his wallet into a pile of towels and shirts meant for the laundry. Despite my efforts to get him a desk organizer to set his things in when he gets home (i.e. the car keys "i" lost, or the ID Badge that "i" lost, etc) but still he puts his own stuff in bad places and blames me. He's raved about this multiple times and I keep telling him I don't touch his crap anymore because it's not worth the fight.
like tonight he gets pissed about some card he needed, he has 3 identical cards that he leaves scattered about the house, tossed in the kitchen, under the dresser, under chairs, in the garbage, I CAN'T DESCRIBE THE PLACES I'VE FOUND THEM, and I always take note but leave them where they are. well since the wallet thing happened he decides the lost card is all my fault, so he trashes the room, kicks my stuff, calls me a C*** and leaves for work....
not but 20 minutes later I'm getting the usual, I'll take care of my own stuff, you can't do anything right, blah blah blah. I usually wait to text him back because I hate saying things when I'm truly angry, but he wouldn't shutup until I did, so I told him when he starts acting like a grown man I will talk to him after a lengthy and thought out decision about whether or not I even should talk to him after his behavior tonight.
I just don't even know how to cope with it anymore. it's downright exhausting. I don't know how to talk to him when he's like this and he like demands that I respond to him, I just want to know what the best way of saying "leave me alone and don't talk to me until I'M ready. You're being unreasonable and mean, and I refuse to be a part of this." in a way someone as thick and insane as he is can understand. What kind of space does he need or should I give to him? cuz clearly me leaving him alone and/or asking to discuss this when we have calmer moods is not working for him anymore. any sage advice out there?
like tonight he gets pissed about some card he needed, he has 3 identical cards that he leaves scattered about the house, tossed in the kitchen, under the dresser, under chairs, in the garbage, I CAN'T DESCRIBE THE PLACES I'VE FOUND THEM, and I always take note but leave them where they are. well since the wallet thing happened he decides the lost card is all my fault, so he trashes the room, kicks my stuff, calls me a C*** and leaves for work....
not but 20 minutes later I'm getting the usual, I'll take care of my own stuff, you can't do anything right, blah blah blah. I usually wait to text him back because I hate saying things when I'm truly angry, but he wouldn't shutup until I did, so I told him when he starts acting like a grown man I will talk to him after a lengthy and thought out decision about whether or not I even should talk to him after his behavior tonight.
I just don't even know how to cope with it anymore. it's downright exhausting. I don't know how to talk to him when he's like this and he like demands that I respond to him, I just want to know what the best way of saying "leave me alone and don't talk to me until I'M ready. You're being unreasonable and mean, and I refuse to be a part of this." in a way someone as thick and insane as he is can understand. What kind of space does he need or should I give to him? cuz clearly me leaving him alone and/or asking to discuss this when we have calmer moods is not working for him anymore. any sage advice out there?
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