I'm a freshman in college and went through a pretty bad breakup about a month ago, with a guy who had been my best friend for 5 years. He decided that he wanted to have sex with other people, and actually did the night after we broke up. So I've been trying to work through the emotions that accompany this sort of thing, and, not to be melodramatic, but it hasn't been very easy.
Basically, he and I shared a lot of the same friends in high school, who I never see anymore since I'm off at a university. He gets to see our friends much more often since he stayed in the area. Honestly I was much better friends with him than anyone else to begin with, so whenever I try to reconnect with our friends it's just awkward.
I know that talking to and being with friends is really good to do after a break up, but I'm already half way through my first year of college and I don't hardly know anyone here. One of the friends I made here transfered to another school after the fall, and overall I'm a rather awkward person to begin with so I have a difficult time finding people to talk to. I've joined a few academic clubs, but I always feel like the people around me think I'm annoying (I seem to either talk too much or not enough, and I'm awful at small talk).
I'm planning to create a club on campus for next year, a finger painting group, because it can be really relaxing to just go in and finger paint with no pressure to do it "perfectly", and I think a lot of people would enjoy it as a break from studying. But until then, does anyone have advice on making friends? I'm generally a very independent person and I'm used to being alone, but I also miss having people to talk too. I connect much better with guys than I do with girls, and even though I'm not looking to jump right back into a relationship, I really miss the closeness of having someone around who likes hanging out and watching Netflix or whatever. I am a bit desperate to find someone to be my friend, but I know desperation scares people off and I really don't know what to do about it.
Internet people, thanks for hearing me out.
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