Hello, everyone I am new here. I have been with my husband for 6 years but recently and finally married for about 1 year. I have awesome in-laws whom are very close to eachother and treat me well but to be honest I've always felt a bit excluded which hurts my feelings a bit because I see them every week, the sisters and I triple date often, we hang out together, etc. We're pretty close so it's not like we're practically strangers.
The other night all the women in the family: aunts, sisters, mother, grandmother, nieces, etc. went out to dinner somewhere and I found out through instagram. I wondered why I wasn't invited, wasn't I a part of the family?
Also, family pictures. Christmas and MIL's birthday...she asked for a family photo and asked the sister's long term bf to take the photo while the rest of the "Blood" relatives get together to take a picture and the rest of us "non blood relatives" watched in awkwardness. I figured it'd be fine, okay she wants the children she raised in the photo but she didn't even ask us to JOIN in the photo after!
This has happened several times. I've been included in "family" photos but only the ones where like every single relative you can ever think of is involved. I have always thought if you were serious in a relationship/married then you would be included in the familiy pictures, at least it always had been with my family. My brother in law is ALWAYS in our family photos and I find it awkward if he wouldn't be! Especially since his children (my niece/nephews) are in our family pics.
I have a strong feeling that I won't be in family photos until maybe I birth her a grandkid one day..but even then, I can easily see her asking for kids/grandkids (blood relatives) and not me be in the family photo.
I haven't expressed concerned to the husband yet because I don't want to offend him or for it to come off wrong. How do I deal with this when I want so badly to be considered a part of the family? I've always thought we were family and felt like it, I thought being married would change but it didn't. What would you do? Just suck it up?
The other night all the women in the family: aunts, sisters, mother, grandmother, nieces, etc. went out to dinner somewhere and I found out through instagram. I wondered why I wasn't invited, wasn't I a part of the family?
Also, family pictures. Christmas and MIL's birthday...she asked for a family photo and asked the sister's long term bf to take the photo while the rest of the "Blood" relatives get together to take a picture and the rest of us "non blood relatives" watched in awkwardness. I figured it'd be fine, okay she wants the children she raised in the photo but she didn't even ask us to JOIN in the photo after!
This has happened several times. I've been included in "family" photos but only the ones where like every single relative you can ever think of is involved. I have always thought if you were serious in a relationship/married then you would be included in the familiy pictures, at least it always had been with my family. My brother in law is ALWAYS in our family photos and I find it awkward if he wouldn't be! Especially since his children (my niece/nephews) are in our family pics.
I have a strong feeling that I won't be in family photos until maybe I birth her a grandkid one day..but even then, I can easily see her asking for kids/grandkids (blood relatives) and not me be in the family photo.
I haven't expressed concerned to the husband yet because I don't want to offend him or for it to come off wrong. How do I deal with this when I want so badly to be considered a part of the family? I've always thought we were family and felt like it, I thought being married would change but it didn't. What would you do? Just suck it up?
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