Thanks for reading. I don't know anyone who can provide advice to this issue i've had for so long.
I've been married for 2 years now and just had a baby 3 months ago. My husband has never had a decent job and is currently not working. His family provides everything for us financial wise. I was working until I was pregnant and on maternity leave. I've been working on a business with a friend that will open in the summer. His parents are the ones who gave me the money to open the company.
Problems really caught on after our baby was born.
1. He proclaims taking care of a baby is not a man's job
He never takes care of the baby at night even when I've been up all day and dead tired. He tries to do other things to avoid taking care of the baby in the day time. He does do other chores like buying food and taking out garbage, etc.
2. Husband now wants to work at the business i'm starting up
I've worked on this project for almost a year now. Few monthsI agreed we can work together on the business i'm starting up. Suddenly he wants to make decisions and go to all the meetings O_o. He got really angry with me when I said we need to speak with my partner and make decisions together. He doesn't know anything nor is interested in learning yet he gets angry with me when he can't make any decisions :scratchhead:
I insisted and encouraged him to start something else that he's interested in. Yet he still wants to work with me. He's stopped wanting to make decisions now but after that incident i'm just not sure if I'm mentally able to take any thing else he might throw at me. He kept saying it was HIM who gave me the money to start a business and after he wired the money to me, I didn't want to involve him anymore.
3. He says "my friends wives are the ones taking care of the children. What if I have work to do, i can't be taking care of the baby"
Problem is, he doesn't have anything to do now. I have my hands full and need help. I'm offering to do more and I feel like i'm being taken advantage of. Any free time I get I am working on my business or replying emails. He's only playing games on his iphone or video games. When my parents come over to help with the baby when i go to meetings, he's just outside eating with friends or relaxing.
When i bring up the truth he got mad and walks away. Didnt even say goodnight to me. The baby sleeps on the bed with me and we sleep in separate rooms for about 3 weeks now.
4. I feel unattractive
When I was pregnant I felt unattractive. We never had sex even when I talked about it or even initiated. I felt like he didn't look at me the same and looked at other women more. When I tell him this he denied it.
Post pregnancy I've kept the weight down and got lots of compliments from friends or even strangers but I still feel unattractive. He doesn't compliment me the way he used to and now I've lost all sexual desire. I don't feel attracted to him. He initiated a couple times but I've just had no reaction at all.
5. Whenever we argue I just think about whether I can live on my own
90% of the time we argue is because I feel he's not taking enough responsibility. It was him and his parents who first wanted a child and I warned him its going to be really difficult yet he insisted. 10/10 times we argue i ask myself will I be able to take care of the baby if I was alone. Do I have enough financially.
6. His family is getting wealthier and he's getting more of an attitude problem.
When we have a problem (The house is messy, cooking dinner, taking care of baby, etc), he'll just say, well we can just hire someone to do it. Yes sure we can, but can't we team up and do some of this stuff ourselves ? Are we to just sit on our bums and do nothing all our lives?
I'm just LOST. I feel like I'm just complaining all the time about the same things. I feel like I see him as less of a man than ever.
Don't get me wrong. I love him and he does have good qualities too. What am I supposed to do here.. is this enough to consider leaving him? I don't want to have a child without a father yet i feel he's not going to be much of a figure
I've been married for 2 years now and just had a baby 3 months ago. My husband has never had a decent job and is currently not working. His family provides everything for us financial wise. I was working until I was pregnant and on maternity leave. I've been working on a business with a friend that will open in the summer. His parents are the ones who gave me the money to open the company.
Problems really caught on after our baby was born.
1. He proclaims taking care of a baby is not a man's job
He never takes care of the baby at night even when I've been up all day and dead tired. He tries to do other things to avoid taking care of the baby in the day time. He does do other chores like buying food and taking out garbage, etc.
2. Husband now wants to work at the business i'm starting up
I've worked on this project for almost a year now. Few monthsI agreed we can work together on the business i'm starting up. Suddenly he wants to make decisions and go to all the meetings O_o. He got really angry with me when I said we need to speak with my partner and make decisions together. He doesn't know anything nor is interested in learning yet he gets angry with me when he can't make any decisions :scratchhead:
I insisted and encouraged him to start something else that he's interested in. Yet he still wants to work with me. He's stopped wanting to make decisions now but after that incident i'm just not sure if I'm mentally able to take any thing else he might throw at me. He kept saying it was HIM who gave me the money to start a business and after he wired the money to me, I didn't want to involve him anymore.
3. He says "my friends wives are the ones taking care of the children. What if I have work to do, i can't be taking care of the baby"
Problem is, he doesn't have anything to do now. I have my hands full and need help. I'm offering to do more and I feel like i'm being taken advantage of. Any free time I get I am working on my business or replying emails. He's only playing games on his iphone or video games. When my parents come over to help with the baby when i go to meetings, he's just outside eating with friends or relaxing.
When i bring up the truth he got mad and walks away. Didnt even say goodnight to me. The baby sleeps on the bed with me and we sleep in separate rooms for about 3 weeks now.
4. I feel unattractive
When I was pregnant I felt unattractive. We never had sex even when I talked about it or even initiated. I felt like he didn't look at me the same and looked at other women more. When I tell him this he denied it.
Post pregnancy I've kept the weight down and got lots of compliments from friends or even strangers but I still feel unattractive. He doesn't compliment me the way he used to and now I've lost all sexual desire. I don't feel attracted to him. He initiated a couple times but I've just had no reaction at all.
5. Whenever we argue I just think about whether I can live on my own
90% of the time we argue is because I feel he's not taking enough responsibility. It was him and his parents who first wanted a child and I warned him its going to be really difficult yet he insisted. 10/10 times we argue i ask myself will I be able to take care of the baby if I was alone. Do I have enough financially.
6. His family is getting wealthier and he's getting more of an attitude problem.
When we have a problem (The house is messy, cooking dinner, taking care of baby, etc), he'll just say, well we can just hire someone to do it. Yes sure we can, but can't we team up and do some of this stuff ourselves ? Are we to just sit on our bums and do nothing all our lives?
I'm just LOST. I feel like I'm just complaining all the time about the same things. I feel like I see him as less of a man than ever.
Don't get me wrong. I love him and he does have good qualities too. What am I supposed to do here.. is this enough to consider leaving him? I don't want to have a child without a father yet i feel he's not going to be much of a figure
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