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How to deal with internalised homophobia?

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Not sure if I posted this in the right place...

So I have known since I was 14 that I am something other than heterosexual. I wouldn't be considered a homophobe by anyone who knows me, in fact quite the opposite; I find it enjoyable to campaign for other LGBTQ people. But when it comes to me, I find myself wishing to be anything other than this, unable to control negative thoughts which have become extreme in the past because I think that this is 'bad'and I also keep it hidden. It's come to a point where I am stopping myself reciprocating feelings for people of the same gender because it makes me hate myself.

Anyone experienced anything similar to this - any advice of how to overcome it?

(I'll ignore any hateful trolls so don't waste your time)

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