My husband and I just got into a big fight... We're about to move to a new apartment tomorrow and for the past few weeks leading up to the move, I've been doing the bulk of the packing because he's been traveling for his work. To be clear - he didn't ask me to do the packing - I just did it so that by the time he got back we would have less to do and could focus on other logistics of the move. I also have a full-time job and today while I was away at work (he was working from home) - I asked if he could send in the form to our current condominium to let the Building Management know that we were moving out.
When I got home tonight, I found that the form was not only still on the table where I left it... he hadn't even filled it in. I asked him about it and he said he didn't know what our landlord's name was... For some reason, this just annoyed the heck out of me. I told him he could've just asked me and that the name was on the bank receipt everytime we've remitted our monthly rent. I filled up the form and went to take a shower, trying to let it go but ended up feeling more frustrated in the end. I had tried to make the move as painless as possible and only asked his help after he was done with his travels; moreover I've also got my own work problems and I just got so annoyed he couldn't help me out with this one simple task.
After I showered, I resolved to address this to him. He ended up over-reacting, getting defensive that it's only a form and I shouldn't make a big deal out of it and that he was really busy today with work. But so was I. And he was working at home meaning he could've just popped down for 2 minutes to the Management office and submit the damn form and come back and be done with it and we wouldn't have had to have the conversation. I pointed out that I was busy too yet I found the time to pack most of our stuff; then the argument started to steer towards - "Haven't I been doing things too?" and "Why is your time more important than mine?" I tried to get our conversation back on track but I think at that point we had just derailed... he got angry and smashed the mobile phone he was holding on the floor... Not near/at me, but I was still startled. It also didn't help that it was actually my company phone. He stormed into the bedroom after that and slammed a few things. After awhi le I gathered myself together and came to the guest bedroom to try and sleep it off.
Although initially I was upset that I felt a bit taken for granted, I'm now more hurt / angry / disappointed by how he fights... he goes off tangent and turns what I say into all these other accusations... I don't know. I'm too embarrassed to tell my friends but really wanted to vent and gather some thoughts... To be fair - I do know and appreciate that he has been helping with some parts of the move but that only happened when I was around with him and I almost feel like when I'm not around, nothing gets done. At one point in our fight he told me to stop telling him what to do, to which I retaliated "If I don't, then nothing gets done". In retrospect I know this sounds harsh / *****y but it does hold true sometimes... I don't want to be the nag or the one telling him what to do but I guess I don't trust that he will do it unless I verbalize it? And in the past there have been times when I don't say anything and he doesn't do it because I didn't say it...
When I got home tonight, I found that the form was not only still on the table where I left it... he hadn't even filled it in. I asked him about it and he said he didn't know what our landlord's name was... For some reason, this just annoyed the heck out of me. I told him he could've just asked me and that the name was on the bank receipt everytime we've remitted our monthly rent. I filled up the form and went to take a shower, trying to let it go but ended up feeling more frustrated in the end. I had tried to make the move as painless as possible and only asked his help after he was done with his travels; moreover I've also got my own work problems and I just got so annoyed he couldn't help me out with this one simple task.
After I showered, I resolved to address this to him. He ended up over-reacting, getting defensive that it's only a form and I shouldn't make a big deal out of it and that he was really busy today with work. But so was I. And he was working at home meaning he could've just popped down for 2 minutes to the Management office and submit the damn form and come back and be done with it and we wouldn't have had to have the conversation. I pointed out that I was busy too yet I found the time to pack most of our stuff; then the argument started to steer towards - "Haven't I been doing things too?" and "Why is your time more important than mine?" I tried to get our conversation back on track but I think at that point we had just derailed... he got angry and smashed the mobile phone he was holding on the floor... Not near/at me, but I was still startled. It also didn't help that it was actually my company phone. He stormed into the bedroom after that and slammed a few things. After awhi le I gathered myself together and came to the guest bedroom to try and sleep it off.
Although initially I was upset that I felt a bit taken for granted, I'm now more hurt / angry / disappointed by how he fights... he goes off tangent and turns what I say into all these other accusations... I don't know. I'm too embarrassed to tell my friends but really wanted to vent and gather some thoughts... To be fair - I do know and appreciate that he has been helping with some parts of the move but that only happened when I was around with him and I almost feel like when I'm not around, nothing gets done. At one point in our fight he told me to stop telling him what to do, to which I retaliated "If I don't, then nothing gets done". In retrospect I know this sounds harsh / *****y but it does hold true sometimes... I don't want to be the nag or the one telling him what to do but I guess I don't trust that he will do it unless I verbalize it? And in the past there have been times when I don't say anything and he doesn't do it because I didn't say it...
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment