I don't think that the answer "all men do it and women should get over it" is helpful to the women that are hurt by men's solo, visual pursuits, even if we believe this to be the case. Men should be a little understanding as most women hold the notion that they are expected to be beautiful and be the solo cause of our arousal. Understandibly, us being aroused by another women (even the images of another women) can be threatening. It is also based upon some lack of understanding. This is a topic that will likely cause misunderstanding/hurt but, perhaps some mutual understanding and respect can help mitigate some of the problems this matter causes. Some of the problem is that women equate men looking at other women for arousal/release as indicative of the following:
1) An indication that we are not happy and would rather be with someone else.
This is not true, I have been in a number of relationships (including my marriage) where I am very happy, attracted to them. Happy with our sex, etc.
2) That we want to be with the person in the picture/video.
Perhaps this is true of some men but, for me..I don't think "wow..I want to f#%% her" I just thing "nice boobs, butt, and pretty face (all or some of these) and these visuals arouse me. Men can separate the sex (or in this case the body parts) from the women connected with them.
3) Men who do this are more likely to cheat.
I think EXACTLY the opposite. If my wife is secure with herself and makes her sexy. Insecurity is largely a turn off. Furthermore, if my wife allows me to relieve myself with the use of visual stimuli, it is allows me to keep my pipes clean. It also provides me with some "variety" (with relatively little consequence) that would likely make me less likely to seek novelty in more potentially dangerous, hurtful ways.
I had purchased Magic Mike for my wife. She went to see it with her girlfriend and molested me when she came home. Occasionally, we will watch it she get aroused but, feels we should not "need this sort of thing. I would love to be able to enjoy porn with her. Hell, I would watch ANYTHYING if it got her motor running. If she wants to get her jollies (alone or with me) while she looks at/ thinks of a shirtless Chatem Tanning (or other partially clothed or naked man) that would fine with me.
1) An indication that we are not happy and would rather be with someone else.
This is not true, I have been in a number of relationships (including my marriage) where I am very happy, attracted to them. Happy with our sex, etc.
2) That we want to be with the person in the picture/video.
Perhaps this is true of some men but, for me..I don't think "wow..I want to f#%% her" I just thing "nice boobs, butt, and pretty face (all or some of these) and these visuals arouse me. Men can separate the sex (or in this case the body parts) from the women connected with them.
3) Men who do this are more likely to cheat.
I think EXACTLY the opposite. If my wife is secure with herself and makes her sexy. Insecurity is largely a turn off. Furthermore, if my wife allows me to relieve myself with the use of visual stimuli, it is allows me to keep my pipes clean. It also provides me with some "variety" (with relatively little consequence) that would likely make me less likely to seek novelty in more potentially dangerous, hurtful ways.
I had purchased Magic Mike for my wife. She went to see it with her girlfriend and molested me when she came home. Occasionally, we will watch it she get aroused but, feels we should not "need this sort of thing. I would love to be able to enjoy porn with her. Hell, I would watch ANYTHYING if it got her motor running. If she wants to get her jollies (alone or with me) while she looks at/ thinks of a shirtless Chatem Tanning (or other partially clothed or naked man) that would fine with me.
Put the internet to work for you.
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