Nowhere to turn? Both of us have been unfaithful

Been reading a few posts via Tapatalk and seems like a good place where I can ask advice.
Please bear with me, as my circumstances are complex and the description long...

I have been married almost eight years and have two children, 5 and 11. I am currently living outside of the family home, having got somewhere very nice to stay.
My marriage has been dead for a long time. Trying to remember when our problems started is difficult, but it started to end when I gave up my 'voice' in the home. Everything I suggest for our lives, our children's upbringing and our home was heard and understood. For about two weeks. Then it was back to what she wanted. After some time, I gave up.
Perhaps my constant work, the pressures my wife had with the kids and the unadventurous boring sex life. Over time, all intimacy disappeared.

Fast Forward... A few years ago, I was paid off. Eventually, I got my finger out and started my own business but not before my 'depression' had caused considerable damage to my marriage. My wife supported me throughout all these hardships and I love her so much for that.
Two years ago, we got close and started doing things together. Talking, intimacy and interesting sex came back and we were very happy. We stopped smoking, started eating healthily and exercised regularly. The bubble soon burst. I could feel our intimacy fading and our communication disappearing again.
We both had a close friend, perhaps closer to me than my wife.
I had a lot of free time. I done the school run, I looked after the kids during the day and worked from home. I spent a lot of time with this friend/woman and I admit that I started to have feelings for her, but was confused and shoved that where it belonged.

My marriage again started to fail and I wanted to try so hard to make it work. So I booked my wife a holiday to visit close relatives. For three reasons:

1. To give her a break
2. To let me discover how difficult my wife's home life was
3. To give us a break from each other - our first

Before the holiday though, my friend told me that me wife had continued to smoke. I know it doesn't seem like much but, that was the reason for the lack of intimacy. I confronted her and got lies. Why? I would respect her decision - it's her life...
We started to come apart at the seams. No communication at all. No arguments or anything - just acceptance that this was how it was.
So, I gave the present to my wife on our anniversary. She was absolutely delighted and utterly surprised at the thought. My wife got organised to go and left but not before the revelation that I felt as if our marriage was over.

I was falling in love with my friend. Not the 'I want to sleep with you' thing but the whole thing. The friends thing, the enjoying each others' company. The things in common.
While my wife was away, my friend and I confessed our feelings for each other.
My wife came back and I confessed, told her that it was over and left a couple of weeks later - even telling the kids :(

I left (short version) and got my own place. Started a full time relationship with the other woman. I loved her so much. My wife on the other hand went through the phases of a breakup. The devastated. The hating me. Then, she started to do everything to get me back.
She became my friend. My confidant. She became everything that what missing in our marriage. Then I slept with her (idiot). Big mistake. That just ended my life with the other woman.
I went between my wife and the other woman for weeks, treating both of them like s**t - I was at the point where I no longer cared...

Fast forward... My wife is convinced that our marriage can work (she cheated on me too - STIs and stuff) and plans in moving in with me. I don't love her though but want to be a father to my children - the financial support with their mum and dad together.
I love the other woman. She loves me. It's the real thing - never felt this for anyone. We are friends and share intimate, but not sexual moments. Betrayal to my wife; again. But I cannot help how I feel. The other woman never wants to be 'with' me again and I'm on top of the world. Even if it was an email every couple of months, I'd feel the same.

Any advice?

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