We've been separated for close to a month now. There is little communication and I'm doing my best to do the 180. It is hard since there are children...two of hers and one is ours but I love them all. I've tried to keep them away from hearing/seeing conflict but it also has made them not really understand why I'm just not home anymore.
I HATE leaving my son when it is her turn to have him. I have to leave him at our house, and I go back to living with my mom and dad. I had been really financially stable prior to our marriage. Now, we aren't bad but it is a lot tighter. Opened up a company to help me be at home more...and now that it is up and running...I don't have a home to go to.
She reads Christian books about how God has a plan for her life.
She is going on a mission trip for a week, next year that she plans for.
She joined a church group.
I don't think she is having an affair...she is often pretty tired and friends say she looks upset a lot.
She has trust issues with me because I texted an old GF (nothing sexual) and told her I looked at porn at times vs complaining about the decreased sex...she felt she never turned me down...I felt she rarely wanted it.
I brought up ideas, sexually, that she thought were pretty bad...I was trying to see what made her "tick" and spice it up. Everything I ever brought up were actually brought up to me by past GFs. But yeah, she couldn't believe I would think such things.
There are things completely fixable but she says once the trust is over, she can't get it back (I'm her second husband, first was a D 2* physical abuse (3 times) and emotional.
Two messages from members in her family apologized for me having to go through this.
One thinks there is a mental illness (it does run in her family).
Depression is pretty obvious.
I've tried to respect her wishes and finally left the house.
She initially said she got married to me too soon after her divorce and was in a fog.
We have had a lot of good times and good trips but the last year has been hard.
My faith tells me to not give up. To love her regardless.
This site, from what I've read in other's messages, basically tells me it's over.
We have counseling this week, she agreed to go.
I'm at the point of telling her I'm coming back home. I left per her request and to keep from creating chaos for the kids.
I'm not going back because I think it will make her happy...I'm going back because I'm tired of splitting time with my son and rarely seeing the girls and living out of suitcase.
If we are going to get divorced, this may speed it up but I don't see how being separated has done any real good either so at least I don't have to spend this time in my life only seeing my son 3.5 days a week.
I didn't get married and have a child to only be in his life half the time.
I still love my wife...because she is my wife and I've committed to her. I would work hard on the relationship if the opportunity allows but that looks slimmer everyday.
My question is...should I? Should I go back home and say "this is my house too, my family too. If you still want to be separated, this time you can leave?"
She really can't afford to. I can't really afford my own place yet. As a couple, we are doing okay financially and it should continue to improve but neither of us can afford to start out on our own right now.
Thanks for any advice. I read this site now probably 10 times a day looking at other's posts. Sometimes it is encouraging, sometimes I think misery just loves company and it helps to see I'm not alone.
I HATE leaving my son when it is her turn to have him. I have to leave him at our house, and I go back to living with my mom and dad. I had been really financially stable prior to our marriage. Now, we aren't bad but it is a lot tighter. Opened up a company to help me be at home more...and now that it is up and running...I don't have a home to go to.
She reads Christian books about how God has a plan for her life.
She is going on a mission trip for a week, next year that she plans for.
She joined a church group.
I don't think she is having an affair...she is often pretty tired and friends say she looks upset a lot.
She has trust issues with me because I texted an old GF (nothing sexual) and told her I looked at porn at times vs complaining about the decreased sex...she felt she never turned me down...I felt she rarely wanted it.
I brought up ideas, sexually, that she thought were pretty bad...I was trying to see what made her "tick" and spice it up. Everything I ever brought up were actually brought up to me by past GFs. But yeah, she couldn't believe I would think such things.
There are things completely fixable but she says once the trust is over, she can't get it back (I'm her second husband, first was a D 2* physical abuse (3 times) and emotional.
Two messages from members in her family apologized for me having to go through this.
One thinks there is a mental illness (it does run in her family).
Depression is pretty obvious.
I've tried to respect her wishes and finally left the house.
She initially said she got married to me too soon after her divorce and was in a fog.
We have had a lot of good times and good trips but the last year has been hard.
My faith tells me to not give up. To love her regardless.
This site, from what I've read in other's messages, basically tells me it's over.
We have counseling this week, she agreed to go.
I'm at the point of telling her I'm coming back home. I left per her request and to keep from creating chaos for the kids.
I'm not going back because I think it will make her happy...I'm going back because I'm tired of splitting time with my son and rarely seeing the girls and living out of suitcase.
If we are going to get divorced, this may speed it up but I don't see how being separated has done any real good either so at least I don't have to spend this time in my life only seeing my son 3.5 days a week.
I didn't get married and have a child to only be in his life half the time.
I still love my wife...because she is my wife and I've committed to her. I would work hard on the relationship if the opportunity allows but that looks slimmer everyday.
My question is...should I? Should I go back home and say "this is my house too, my family too. If you still want to be separated, this time you can leave?"
She really can't afford to. I can't really afford my own place yet. As a couple, we are doing okay financially and it should continue to improve but neither of us can afford to start out on our own right now.
Thanks for any advice. I read this site now probably 10 times a day looking at other's posts. Sometimes it is encouraging, sometimes I think misery just loves company and it helps to see I'm not alone.
Put the internet to work for you.
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