For those of you going through separation/divorce; I'll keep this short:
A lot of you have read about the 180 rule and how you should focus on yourself and blah blah blah.
The fact that implementing those measures can be difficult is very well established. Failures are plenty and triggers are incredibly frequent at times.
Best medicine: Anger
Anger is a healthy response from your brain to thoughts, memories, images, actions or dialogues that provoke your insecurities.
Those insecurities are indeed left-over baggage from your childhood and must be remedied over time, but for now, they're there, and you have to accept that your insecurities are a part of you until you have ironed them out of your 'self' via either counseling, self-healing, time passing or a combination of all.
Healthy anger, can help you cope with your weakest moments.
Feel free and in fact, INSIST to get angry at your "soon to be ex" or "ex". Feel free to absolutely despise them for what they have caused. Understand that no matter how much of the blame each one of you owns, there's substantial justification in channeling your anger towards the much fantasized character you have built of them in your brain.
Feel free to use the phrase "F*** HIM or F*** HER" often while talking to yourself. It's important to remind yourself of your individuality. He/She is not you and does not define you. You are the sole owner of your life. If she/he has knowingly or even unknowingly caused your life to be a miserable one, then F*** HIM/HER.
Maintain a healthy level of anger for at least a few months. You will slowly realize the anger is no longer of any use and can retire it. If for any reason you find yourself overly angry, use the many methods available to channel that negative energy into motivation for different activities. I don't need to tell you how useful anger is in gymnasiums or competitive activities.
If you find yourself having a hard time blaming your ex or soon-to-be-ex for travesties they have inflicted, there's a good chance you suffer from 'learned guilt'. Read the following article to learn why you are the way you are:
DO YOU LOVE TO BE NEEDED, OR NEED TO BE LOVED?
A lot of you have read about the 180 rule and how you should focus on yourself and blah blah blah.
The fact that implementing those measures can be difficult is very well established. Failures are plenty and triggers are incredibly frequent at times.
Best medicine: Anger
Anger is a healthy response from your brain to thoughts, memories, images, actions or dialogues that provoke your insecurities.
Those insecurities are indeed left-over baggage from your childhood and must be remedied over time, but for now, they're there, and you have to accept that your insecurities are a part of you until you have ironed them out of your 'self' via either counseling, self-healing, time passing or a combination of all.
Healthy anger, can help you cope with your weakest moments.
Feel free and in fact, INSIST to get angry at your "soon to be ex" or "ex". Feel free to absolutely despise them for what they have caused. Understand that no matter how much of the blame each one of you owns, there's substantial justification in channeling your anger towards the much fantasized character you have built of them in your brain.
Feel free to use the phrase "F*** HIM or F*** HER" often while talking to yourself. It's important to remind yourself of your individuality. He/She is not you and does not define you. You are the sole owner of your life. If she/he has knowingly or even unknowingly caused your life to be a miserable one, then F*** HIM/HER.
Maintain a healthy level of anger for at least a few months. You will slowly realize the anger is no longer of any use and can retire it. If for any reason you find yourself overly angry, use the many methods available to channel that negative energy into motivation for different activities. I don't need to tell you how useful anger is in gymnasiums or competitive activities.
If you find yourself having a hard time blaming your ex or soon-to-be-ex for travesties they have inflicted, there's a good chance you suffer from 'learned guilt'. Read the following article to learn why you are the way you are:
DO YOU LOVE TO BE NEEDED, OR NEED TO BE LOVED?
Put the internet to work for you.
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