A and J are both recently divorced and been dating for a few months.
Both had similar marriages. Spouses that didn't communicate, didn't consider what A or J needed or how they felt, despite repeated attempts to communicate those needs and feelings.
A and J have thoroughly explored each others backgrounds and committed not to do the same things their old spouses did.
Recently while out of town, A got an old sloppy tattoo covered with a new one. A and J had discussed this several times, but no specifics were discussed. The new tattoo is 4 times the size of the old one and covers a good bit of A's chest.
J does not like the tattoo, does not like the size, and is very opposed to it. J believes that A should have allowed for input on it. J does not want to have to look at this tattoo forever. J feels that this is exactly the same disregard J received in J's previous marriage.
A offered to have the tattoo removed but also stated that they do not want to have to do that. A would prefer that J try to accept it and overlook such a minor thing. A feels that J is disregarding A's feelings just the way As old spouse did.
My bias may have shown through in the above, but I have tried to present both sides as objectively as possible.
This is turning into a major issue. Quite possibly a deal breaker for both, but neither of them want it to become that. Both are in misery but feel they can not live with the solution the other wants.
I am hoping for some insight, some advise that will help one/either/both do what is right.
Both had similar marriages. Spouses that didn't communicate, didn't consider what A or J needed or how they felt, despite repeated attempts to communicate those needs and feelings.
A and J have thoroughly explored each others backgrounds and committed not to do the same things their old spouses did.
Recently while out of town, A got an old sloppy tattoo covered with a new one. A and J had discussed this several times, but no specifics were discussed. The new tattoo is 4 times the size of the old one and covers a good bit of A's chest.
J does not like the tattoo, does not like the size, and is very opposed to it. J believes that A should have allowed for input on it. J does not want to have to look at this tattoo forever. J feels that this is exactly the same disregard J received in J's previous marriage.
A offered to have the tattoo removed but also stated that they do not want to have to do that. A would prefer that J try to accept it and overlook such a minor thing. A feels that J is disregarding A's feelings just the way As old spouse did.
My bias may have shown through in the above, but I have tried to present both sides as objectively as possible.
This is turning into a major issue. Quite possibly a deal breaker for both, but neither of them want it to become that. Both are in misery but feel they can not live with the solution the other wants.
I am hoping for some insight, some advise that will help one/either/both do what is right.
Put the internet to work for you.
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