Hey guys,
I'm in a relationship currently with my girlfriend, and have been for about 15 months. We currently live together and have done since the start of August this year (about 4 months).
I'm currently just finding myself really frustrated by her all the time and I have to catch myself from having a go at her habits all the time and I remain patient. She has a very short fuse, and will often overreact to something (I forgot to empty the bins after being asked once and she left the flat and wouldn't communicate with me for hours in anyway whatsoever) and refuse to talk or even be in the flat with me for hours and then she'll come back in tears and apologize for overreacting and say she'll never do it again, only to do it again within a couple of weeks. While yes, I do make mistakes, I never take out any anger about a situation or annoyance at her and just leave it to build up until I calm down. I had a talk with her the last time she did it and said that I can't have the overreactions going on because they make it too stressful for me and if it keeps happening I'd have to consider our relationship and that resulted in a lot of tears from her and promises that s he wouldn't do it anymore and apologies etc. I felt awfully seeing her so upset but I didn't feel guilty in the slightest. I know I'm her world and she loves me more than she's ever loved anyone or anything, but I'm not sure that I can reciprocate that.
While I accept that she loves me and she genuinely hates the fact that she reacts like shes does to the smallest of things (her father does it and she doesn't want to be like him), I've kind of gotten to the point where every time she does it I end up wanting to end the relationship with her.
At the moment we kind of have just settled into this plan of getting married one day, and then we'll have two kids etc. and while at first I liked this idea now I'm thinking we don't really match.
I feel like I can't always be myself around her. I always have music on when I'm in my room but she refuses to have music on when she's in here. I don't have it on loud because I don't want to annoy the other person we live with. It's not a particularly outrageous style of music, it's your standard rock-type stuff (Foo Fighters, Black Keys etc.) so it's not that, she just doesn't like the noise. I can't have any conversations about politics or the economy because she says that she feels stupid because she knows nothing about any of it. The other day at university I got the highest mark of any individual across an entire module, and she was happy for me. She got one of her marks back the following week and it wasn't great. Despite me reassuring her that it was still a great mark and not even mentioning my mark, he got angry because she wanted to be as good as me. I ended up feeling awful that I'd done brilliantly.
Sexually we're great when it happens but my sex-drive is a lot higher than hers. I'd be happy to do it everyday, certainly every other day, whereas she would prefer once or twice a week. This can get a bit frustrating obviously and it makes me feel awful if I even suggest anything along those lines because I feel like I'm pressuring her, which I know is wrong.
I feel a bit like I don't belong in this relationship basically, but I don't know how I can get out of it or if I'm right to end it just yet. I'm her first relationship, first everything basically. I've known her family for over a year and they really like me, her sister even goes to the same uni as me and we see each other most weeks in the corridors and stuff. My family have all met her and love her too. I live with her, and another girl in a student flat and neither me or my girlfriend would have anyway of moving out of it as it'd mean having to get another person in to replace whoever left. It'd also be really unfair on the other girl who lives with us to be stuck with that situation. I would have to go and find somewhere to live on my own without any friends as they're all settled in their flats and aren't looking for anyone else. She would have to move back home or do the same, neither situation would work at all for her. Our families would both be so terribly disappoin ted and a significant amount of our friends are mutual, so if I broke it off then I'd carry most of the blame and would look worse to both families and our friends.
If we stayed in the same flat then I'm worried about future things as I would never be able to bring anyone back here without her being upset and I would be upset at her bringing anyone back. I wouldn't want our other flatmate being caught in the middle either as she doesn't deserve that.
The other issue is that I'd have no-one to live with next year either as we were planning to continue the same situation, which we have to commit to by February.
I'm worried about impacting her university grades too.
At the moment I've developed a massive crush/infatuation on a girl on my course at uni. I've done a group project with her and talked quite a bit and we get on really well. I have no idea whether she's interested or not but I certainly would be, were I single. I can barely get her out of my head and I feel awful because I'm in a relationship. I would never cheat on my girlfriend because that would just be against everything I feel, but I keep wanting to ask this other girl on dates and stuff, as if I was single (I haven't and wouldn't while I'm in a relationship).
I don't know whether this is because I'm frustrated or bored in my current relationship and just want a change.
I kind of feel that I'm better in my current relationship than being single but I find the relationship bringing more stress to me than enjoyment most of the time now.
I've never lived away from home and not had this relationship as I met her in freshers week of first year and have been with her since then.
Has anyone got any advice on how I should act? Should I maintain the status-quo or should I end it? Should I see how this other girl feels at all or leave that alone?
I kind of want to give the relationship more chance at the moment as although I've felt this way for about 3 weeks I'm hoping it might change back and I'll feel stupid. I don't want to end something just on a whim. How long should I wait to see if the feeling will pass?
Sorry for such a long post but obviously feelings can be particularly confusing/complex
tl;dr - I'm in a long term relationship, not currently happy in it but circumstances make it very hard to end it. Not sure if I should end it or if I'm just being silly and the feeling will pass.
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