After nearly a year of limbo, lurking and whatever I have come to the conclusion that the modern day Marriage just plain ol' sucks. Take a look at this place and you need not look further. Seriously, click the back button twice and simply look at the numbers of the Marriage success Stories vs the CWI forum alone, 70 times more posts in CWI. What does that tell you?! Add in all the other forum category's and well, the numbers don't lie.
This place, Marriage builders, Marriage advocates and many other places all tell the same story; Gain interest, gets passionate, grows into a relationship, live together, have children (or not), both have careers (Or not), Buy a house (Or not)...........Add experience here!!
But alas, eventually the novelty wears off, the new exciting feelings fade, and the strain of sustaining whatever lifestyle a couple built becomes taxing. So one, or both parties accepts it as is, life's slow, hard working moments that provide very little return for ones efforts, and guess what you get to do it tomorrow too. Yes, I have to be a parent tomorrow, and a homeowner, and employed, and a husband (or Wife). And what do these things unequivocally demand?! In unison now, TIME & MONEY!!!.
This does not matter and I suppose it shouldn't really, I mean, no one made me fall in love, become a father, buy a home, provide for my family or fulfill my Wife's demand's or needs. I was simply being a nice guy. Don't express my feelings, or thoughts and opinions or dare mention my needs or displeasures. Life is good and happy, for her. Mission accomplished.
Maybe I could've been the so called Alpha, pee on her pee or leg and humped her into submission (metaphorically I might add) and made sure to mention my thoughts, wants and feelings and by god make them heard if at least not fulfilled. Take charge, lead the way, captain the ship.
Would it have been any different, has it ever? Did I simply not see the disparities or uncommon factors, did it even matter?
As I, we, have all experienced by meeting here one thing is for sure. Nothing we could have done would have changed a thing one damn bit. Spend more time at home vs at work and she complains about not having any money or being able to provide for the familys growth or amenities that people feel they need in life to feel fulfilled or satisfied. Its a reason to cheat.
Work, work, work, suffer the lash of the financial demand imposed by your family's needs. Home, car, insurance, electric, heat, food.....and internet, newer car, new furniture, cell phones, children's sports, clothes and other activities, and whatever else the Mrs. says would be great for the family "I want to provide to my children the things I never had growing up:.. So time, precious time is sacrificed. Time from you wife, your children, hell maybe even you dog too. Your home becomes strange to you and whatever time you have at home ends up being another demand. Fix this, take care of this, mow the lawn, time to read storied, get children taken care of, fix the dryer........................ Each do represents something, here lets add some more...............Add what you see fit. I am now neglectful and checked out. I have not met her needs as well as being a failure for not reading her mind. I must simply not care or love her. It is a reason to cheat.
If your nice, your not assertive enough or aggressive enough to show you care or wish to pursue ones spouse, especially if your a guy, and the other party, especially women, find your eagerness to please revolting and disrespectful. She needs someone who'll take charge, make the decision for her, lead without even considering opinions, be the Alpha. "He never listened to me, he never noticed or cared about my feelings, I felt like I didn't matter, I had no say....." It is a reason to cheat.
The internet, work, home, church, school, wherever is a place to cheat. With cyberspace cheating is more than ever now isn't it. "It's ok, cause I never Fvcked him/her so what's the big deal?" is the normal response. But the Pics, statements, conversations and feelings involved with them invite danger and heartache.
And remember, it's my/our fault. God if I wasn't at work I could turn this into a novel.
But in short, modern day marriage sucks, unlike past ones (Which were also not perfect or free from infidelity) in nearly all cases if something was broke they fixed it, now, people simply toss it away and move on, as if marriage is now just a consumable item. It just plan ol' sucks.
This place, Marriage builders, Marriage advocates and many other places all tell the same story; Gain interest, gets passionate, grows into a relationship, live together, have children (or not), both have careers (Or not), Buy a house (Or not)...........Add experience here!!
But alas, eventually the novelty wears off, the new exciting feelings fade, and the strain of sustaining whatever lifestyle a couple built becomes taxing. So one, or both parties accepts it as is, life's slow, hard working moments that provide very little return for ones efforts, and guess what you get to do it tomorrow too. Yes, I have to be a parent tomorrow, and a homeowner, and employed, and a husband (or Wife). And what do these things unequivocally demand?! In unison now, TIME & MONEY!!!.
This does not matter and I suppose it shouldn't really, I mean, no one made me fall in love, become a father, buy a home, provide for my family or fulfill my Wife's demand's or needs. I was simply being a nice guy. Don't express my feelings, or thoughts and opinions or dare mention my needs or displeasures. Life is good and happy, for her. Mission accomplished.
Maybe I could've been the so called Alpha, pee on her pee or leg and humped her into submission (metaphorically I might add) and made sure to mention my thoughts, wants and feelings and by god make them heard if at least not fulfilled. Take charge, lead the way, captain the ship.
Would it have been any different, has it ever? Did I simply not see the disparities or uncommon factors, did it even matter?
As I, we, have all experienced by meeting here one thing is for sure. Nothing we could have done would have changed a thing one damn bit. Spend more time at home vs at work and she complains about not having any money or being able to provide for the familys growth or amenities that people feel they need in life to feel fulfilled or satisfied. Its a reason to cheat.
Work, work, work, suffer the lash of the financial demand imposed by your family's needs. Home, car, insurance, electric, heat, food.....and internet, newer car, new furniture, cell phones, children's sports, clothes and other activities, and whatever else the Mrs. says would be great for the family "I want to provide to my children the things I never had growing up:.. So time, precious time is sacrificed. Time from you wife, your children, hell maybe even you dog too. Your home becomes strange to you and whatever time you have at home ends up being another demand. Fix this, take care of this, mow the lawn, time to read storied, get children taken care of, fix the dryer........................ Each do represents something, here lets add some more...............Add what you see fit. I am now neglectful and checked out. I have not met her needs as well as being a failure for not reading her mind. I must simply not care or love her. It is a reason to cheat.
If your nice, your not assertive enough or aggressive enough to show you care or wish to pursue ones spouse, especially if your a guy, and the other party, especially women, find your eagerness to please revolting and disrespectful. She needs someone who'll take charge, make the decision for her, lead without even considering opinions, be the Alpha. "He never listened to me, he never noticed or cared about my feelings, I felt like I didn't matter, I had no say....." It is a reason to cheat.
The internet, work, home, church, school, wherever is a place to cheat. With cyberspace cheating is more than ever now isn't it. "It's ok, cause I never Fvcked him/her so what's the big deal?" is the normal response. But the Pics, statements, conversations and feelings involved with them invite danger and heartache.
And remember, it's my/our fault. God if I wasn't at work I could turn this into a novel.
But in short, modern day marriage sucks, unlike past ones (Which were also not perfect or free from infidelity) in nearly all cases if something was broke they fixed it, now, people simply toss it away and move on, as if marriage is now just a consumable item. It just plan ol' sucks.
Put the internet to work for you.
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