I've been with my boyfriend 1.5 years, but seeing him for 2 years (I was travelling at first and we weren't officially together.) He's been part of my life for 2 years and I can't remember what it was like without him.
I've hit a point that I need a break and our differences/incompatibility is beginning to become more and more evident to me. I don't know what to do- any advice? I know you can't decide for me, but any advice/experience from others would be helpful.
He is a lovely man (25 years old), quite sensitive, good looking (my type physically), dedicated, and we have had some good times together. I love him and don't want to hurt him.
The bad: he's driving me crazy. He is constantly rude to me. He speaks childishly and it is impossible to have a normal conversation with him, let alone a serious one. He makes no sense, has stupid sayings and there's no way of getting through to him. The only time he really talks properly to me is when i'm upset and he is apologising. Also, i feel like i put more effort in than him...
I feel like I'm missing out on so much- not even talking about other guys because I'm not bothered about that. I miss doing things like just going for a drink or clubbing or travelling. He always makes excuses to not go- i love these things, i just want to go dancing, go to a restaurant etc. Excuses normally include, amongst other things, money issues.
We are different financially- i am a second year student at uni, 21 years old, and my parents still support me while he works on and off at different jobs, but that doesn't bother me and i genuinely admire him for it. What bothers me is that he lets his bank account get to 0, he has never pays for anything- he will just pay his share which i think is fair, but i always somehow pay more. He wants to buy the cheapest food available and if i buy something that isn't the cheapest (because i like yo eat fairly well), he has to make a remark about it. I hate buying things when he is around- and i'm definitely not a big spender! I never complain that he only buys cheap food/clothes etc- he can buy what he wants.
He have some major differences politically and on topics like sexuality, immigration & race.
He's faithful. I think my choice of course/uni was sort of influenced by wanting to be closer to him (no regrets.) When I think of the times we were first together, I feel really sad when I think of all the cute things and cool trips we went on. I feel so bad more thinking of ending it.
The thought of leaving him brings both excitement and fear. I am scared I won't find someone who will be faithful and kind to me again (many of my friends say I am lucky to have him but they don't really know him well.) He's mentioned marriage and kids (i'm 4 years younger than him and have big dreams and career goals.) I am going crazy with his childish talk and rudeness- I have told him numerous times to which he changes for only a short time. I feel tied down: i want to travel the world, make more friends at uni and not go home to see him all the time and miss out on socials etc, i want to go clubbing and dance with a guy, i want to go to restaurants without having someone judge me for my order not being the cheapest available! I've suggested all these things but they don't seem to happen- i'd be happy to wait so we can save up but i don't think it will happen then. Makes me sad that all his friends take their gfs on holidays and spend money on them- I'm not a golddiger, i have even offered to pay 75% of whatever holiday we book (instead of half/half) but no plans have emerged.
Sorry it's so long- I have too many thoughts and I love this guy. He wasn't my "first" but he was my first true love. I'm mega confused- i think i need a break but I'm also afraid i'll regret it. I don't want another bf, but i will do in a few years and i'm afraid i won't find someone as faithful and good to me (sounds odd after all the bad points but he is a genuine nice guy and the rudeness can be to wind me up...) I don't want him to hate me either. This time last year i thought i'd marry him and have his children. I don't know what i want!!!!
TDLR: rude, childish boyfriend. feel tied down- want to travel and make more friends at uni. but i love him and he is faithful and kind. lots of differences. scared i'll regret breaking up and will never find someone as faithful or loving. told him lots what bothers me and he hasn't changed. Confused!!
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