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Crap Mum lately

I really feel like a crap Mum lately. I've been so focused on doing tasks, endless tasks, it feels like my only interaction with them is telling them what to do or getting irritated at them for not doing it. Doesn't help that I'm letting my DS push all my buttons lately. He's 5 and constantly whinging from the moment I collect him from school until bed time. It's been driving me nuts. I'm also on a new diet and exercise regime which I'm still adapting to as well. Hoping to become more energetic in the long run, just have to get passed the completely stuffed from all the exercise part first.

I was sitting on the couch, trying to chill with a new book and a cuppa and a heat pack for my sore back last night after cooking dinner, dealing with DS whinging at me all afternoon that he needed more food (AFTER his afternoon snack that was quite enough or he tells me he's too FULL to eat any dinner), after sending him to his room because he refused to eat all his dinner anyway, after washing up the dishes. Kids were up in their room chatting to each other. DH comes home and ignores me as he's angry at me for being angry at him for something that happened at work, goes up to the room and they're all laughing and talking and I realise I'm just the crabby Mum who isn't enjoying spending time with them anymore. The Mum who is so stuffed from working all day, organising every one else, dealing with these discipline problems and I'm no longer the loving Mum, the fun Mum, the Mum I would want to have; I'm the 'can't wait to sit the f*ck down' Mum.

There really feels like a huge chasm between me and my children. It feels terrible!

I think I need to do something new with them, not sure what yet. Will have to look into it today.

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